title: motivated!!




someone out there give mi the motivation to get my license!!!!!!
i will get it soon!!!!

title: the something i missing in my life now!





the feeling that im lacking.
the feeling that im short of.
the feeling that im missing alot.
the feeling that im oways wishing for.
now.currently.at every moment im still trying hard to seek for the feeling.

the feeling of having a girlfren by my side. haha.. how heavenly it will be wif a girlfren by my side now. it feel so different from being wif frens , family and other people. the kind of feel, the moment which nothing can be replace. i kinda miss it. haha. (die for sure) ---> loneliness and emptiness growing in me! oh no.. AM I GONNA HAVE DEPRESSION? (LOL). days are so liveless, boring,. rotting in front of my TV set and my laptop. ohya. cannot forget my doggie (momo) lol. it has been a yr tat im single. haa.. still canoot mit the gal of my cup of tea? i pray. to whatever god im under or belongs to.i do. for a gal t drop from the sky.. haha.. but from a movie.. i have that god doesnt give u directly for wad u pray for. they create opportunities for u to fight for it. but that problem is .. i dun see any of that coming to mi. haa.. oh god! will i die a single? lol.. im not desperate or wad . im jus venting sth into my blog.
i hv not update for quite sometime too. so ya.
i still believe that she . she she she , one of them is meant for mi.. mayb im still dreaming .. who knows ya.? i got nth to look forwrd everyday. everything seems to be the same once i open my eyes . nth special.. nothing for mi to look frward leh. hais.. jus like plain paper n plain slice of bread. no colour no tatse. actuali got la.. when i sweat lo. SALTY!! haa

done alrdy lo. hais...

we were made for each other.

i hope u know it!

back from HongKong!





finally back from hongkong. been thre for a week ba. the weather was hot ! BUT. overall alrite lo. i hv been to hk for more than a dozen times lo... once got holiday will go ther.. jus like my 2nd home. haha. how nice if im staying there .. haa.. got 4 seasons.. and hk is a shopping paradise. lol



have been thinkng.. ( i hv came across some cute gals in hk) n i saw some cute gals wif some average guys . haha.. when is turn??? hhaaa.. wanted to hv a gf!! haha cant seem to hv one lo.. dunno why ! haha...

hahaha...




gucci belt is on my waist. LOL

new chapter of life for my little niece

ASHLEY!!!!

OMG!!!! my little niece was 50 cm tall and 3.59kg

abit gigantic leh.. for a baby gal.

haha.. her papa mama hvnt tot for her a chinese name. but was called ASHLEY !

i contributed in this name oso hor. haha.. my niece was so cute can.

cannot image at the age of 19 im an uncle.

dun worry.. i wil bring u go clubbing k! haha

welcome ASHLEY!

i have never felt like this before
Everything i do. reminds me of you

this is so damn unlucky.





OMG!!! fine for littering...
200 bUCKS.. for goodness sick.
FUCk the organization..

anw.. it was a bad day .


feeling like to have a gf
but it seems hard to find one
ok, fine, i gave up
shud i jus sit and wait for a gal to drop onto my arms??

thereis this gal i find every nice.
nice in character, personality..
wch will make her a good gf.
haha

but this kinda gal hard to get
and wun be my turn to hv her to be my gf
dream on lor.. haha

haha. finally someting nice to blog about.. instead of all emo stuff. wahahaha











hmms.. two days ago i bump into someone..

a person missing for years (LOL)

ever since primary school, i nv seen her till 2 days ago

a gal i like since p4 till p6? haha.. crush i can say?? dunno la

surprise that i hv seen her.. but.. too bad she cant recognise mi =(

she had turned into a fine . cute lady. wahahah

much cuter than she was younger.. oops..

arrgh...!!! regretted nv approach her la..

memerios start to flash back .. nice ones. sweet!!!


today, i went town to shop n buy handphone.
hmms.. bought an average hp .
if not evrytime lost, heartache.
anw. i like this hp of mine too..
so its doesnt matter la..
can call can msg can mp3..
not that bad la.. haha..
wad esle can i complain.

wow, today my eyes are enjoying alot .
so many cute, pretty, hot chicks.
around town area.
haha... can u imagine that 8 out of 10 is hot chicks.. haha
got korean, caucasian, chinese. haha.. all races..

not a bad day for mi

siansation~~~~





haha.. so long aft i hv played a socccer match
found out that my stamina drop drastically
this is a bad bad sign man..
i wanna get my stamina back
i wanna work
no money
but exam is coming
damn bloody stressful.. haha

no time for fun alrdy...
i wanna get my fitness back no matter wad..
i need a job ..
hu can intro me!!!!

wrong timing la... OMt~ how






so long nv blog alrdy. thou it might be a few days or a week.. but i can feel that my blog is rotting.. so bored n tired.. nth to do.. relectant to go sch.. busy wif assignment..

there is a ooad test tml.. i 2dae den know. haha.. actuali i plan not to go sch tml..
time reali flies la.. my dear canada fren is going back 2nitte..
hvnt reali go out wif her for the past one month.. arrgh
she isnt coming back for the next 3 yrs.. arrgh..
im gonna miss u irene!! nvm.. i will save for ur air ticket..
so u nid not worry abt the tix.. and u can stay at my place.. lol.
3 times the most we hv met for the past one month. sad for mi
nxt trip back.. dun be so busy le can.. spare mi some time la.. haha

now isnt the rite time to fall for someone..
reali the worng timing can..
not the rite timing for mi. as well as for the opposite i tink. haha.
she doesnt know abt it actuali.. but i jus felt that it isnt reali time.
how should i say?? hah.. if i continue saying . it will be damn obvious who the gal is.
anw, everyone is so busy now.. thou busy for mi is still alrite.. cus i will still spare time for her.. but there is still other reasons for not being the rite timing
so sad can.. hmms.. for half a yr im sinlge and not fall for anyone ..
but why now.. its okie actuali.. b4 being single for 6 months.. i hv stay single for 3 yrs aft my sec
so wads the big deal? haa.. its reali big!!! LOL
i dun wanna let this chance miss.. but how.. this isnt the rite timing..
n the gal doesnt know.. arrgh.. god is playing mi la.. aiyo.

can someone tell mi wad shoud i do?

brighter???






so bored.. nowadays singapore kips rainning.. n singapore is so so so f*** small..
got no wher nice to go.. oways go the same place. boredom..

now i suddenly got the feeling to hv a gf.. but im too lazy to love...
oh man.. contridicting myself.. haha
jus cant find the gal my cup of tea
even if i find.. the gal oso dun like mi
sometimes.. this kinda things bored mi
so it makes mi so lazy now
lazy to love free to play kinda attitude grows in me
haha..
when can i find a gal that electrify mi ..

the swim nite.. FUN!!!

times when we were deep in thoughts

the teens living in the shadow of darkness.

the night we had a tough climb.. woW!!!!

woo. thos pics was taken during our brothers gathering at town and my hus .. but not all my buddies turn up.. wch was a sad thing.. haha.. pics taking was fun .. im planning to get a camera soon man.. haha..

whats the use of stressing over rubbish now? haha.. i can have all the fun i want.. lol.. i dun tink i will be emo again alrdy. wif so many activites wif my bROs.. ORchard 5.. CHEERS!! haha..

it was reali fun.. i reali enjoyed it alot ..

tink will have fun once a week . haha

shiok sial.. haha..

i can live on my own .. in the world of fun n laughter.s

taking things into my stride..

trying not to think so much.

trying to be positive in everything..

there is hope . the is will..

moving wif the nature of course.

haha.. see where the timeline can leads mi to and how far will i be..

lol..

truly... i learn sth today







now i know.. haa.. being nice is a dumb n stupid way to live on this fucking world
so from now onwards.. i know how should i treat people.. actuali this depends on situation..

now got any lobang or wadeva .. like benefits.. i should either kip it myself.. or share it wif pple who are worth it.. now i wun treat everyone as my close frens.. i tink .. this shud stop ah. no point la seriously.. all of them treat u like grass.. step here n there.. i stil this shud stop.. no more sharing is caring.. woooo!!!

in this society , wif those kind n my kind of pple living n walking around. should learn to be smart.. tink of urself first .. instead of placing pple in front of u.. this is wad i should do long ago.. hope now is not too late...
when it comes to money.. haha.. reali man.. duno wad the fuck is gonna on.. everything is like money is more impt.. haha.. so nxt time.. dun lend pple money.. dun borrow pple oso.. the most impt thing.. dun gamble.. mahjong can still play abit.. haha....

i now should watch my steps..open eyes big big.. last time m not calculative. act blur . now.. sorry.. i will become very calculative.. the level of calculativeness depends on who is the person..

now got money spend myself.. n clear my debt.. any extra can buy cig.. its onli for mi n onli for those hu hv shared nv mi.. i can reject pple anytime i want.. so dun blame mi..
the surrounding n the pple around mi made mi to become like this..

in the case of cig... if i offer. den take.. if not.. please fuck off understand...

i think.....




i felt sth different... something about me is differrent..
i felt like im a fool..
but now... i tink i slowly changing.
my perspectives on some stuff have changed..
im still wondering should i still remain my prinicple or not..

its like no point holding onto my pricnciple anymore.. as i get nth gd in return.
so i tink i should jus fuck it ...
i tink this tis a way i can live happier... ignoring the things n gals around me..
im really sick n tired about them ...
come on.. give me some peace... !!!

i had enough of all those craps and nonseses thru all these years..
i tink now i hv to spend more time on the assignment .. which i tink is more impt than anything esle now..
fuck everyting esle except school work.. hoho..

humans... evoling into a stage .....






dissapointing.... (shake head)
tink nowadys humans are reali stupid
turning into a over sensitive creature.
dunno why..
this is reali bad omen..
humans are tinking too much.. and always tink that they are right..
sometimes.. things jus cant be judge from what it seems..
i contact her.. doesnt mean i wanna woo her rite? fren fren onli..

humans are oso getting more n more selfish..
onli care for themselves. nv care for other feelings..
tell u, people out there wad i am tinking now..
im so tired of gals.. hey.. this doesnt mean im bcoming gay.
now i see gals.. i feel like plain paper.. plain water.. no feeling no taste..
cus im sick of tired of guessing wad gals are tinking..
they can turn out to be monster... i cant find angels among them nowadays..
except for my gd lill fren from IT.. haa..

now humans are thinking way too much i can tell u,,
cant stand it.. misunderstand this and that..
making a problem from bad to worst..
Just open ur eyes n ur ear holes wide to see the situation.

get over it .. and stay PEACE..

IM GONNA FUCK IT!!!!

reali fUnny ... aND i fINd iT stupid n DUmb.. Haa







come on ! this is the 21st century
there is still such thing as i dun reali like my gf to be liddat?
Oh maN... wad a reply from a GUy.. Woooo

this is worst. reason of avoiding
check this out
"tell u honestly, i jus got a bf"
come on man.. do i care.. haha..
find it weird
be fren onli wad..
nid to be lidis meh? lol
laugh out loud la..

stupid pple stupid action stupid way.
i don care... one short doesnt kill..

jus to let u know.. this is reali stupid..

arrgh.......






the same old shit again.. fuck

why cant i spend my life smoothly.
this is realy fcuk up
i dun wanna spend my life like that

i have no money
i have no love
i have no choices
i have no body to talk to

all i have is myself
and ofcus
my buddies

u r the one since long
how can i confess
there is nth i can do..
all i can do is to spending time wif u w/o u know im falling for u.

i jus cant have wad i want.. why?? is this my fate
what have i done wrong? m i reali the bad?
all i want is happiness..
cant i jus get that? it is so simple..

once i fall into it..
the cycle starts again..
why jus cant man survive love?
perhaps some can .. but defintely not mi..
who is the one?? i seriously dunno

im tired of waiting
im tired of seeking
im tired of finding
im tired of searching
in fact. im gonna give up
it reali sux..

overall..

happiness... i want!!!

bother... bothered.. bothering....






there is sth kept wif mi for very long.. from primary 5 till now.... its jus something i cant shake it off.. for the decade... thou many things happen in between. but it jus cant shake it off.. arrgh..



the dumb dumb esther tan... duno how to make her comp still wanna act act ah..
pls la.. haha.. dun act k!! wahaha..
anw.. your bro eugene is funni n quite cute la.. cuter than u at least. haha.. so dun oways bully him can.. hhaha... thou ur hus is far.. but quite nice to slack ah.. relaxing man.. lol..
nxt week is ur tuition week hor.. RMB.. dun 4get. lol. N lvl coming.. wahaha.. mus get into O lvl ok.. i pls u now k? dun slp n slp la.. haha

there is this gal... LOL




you are in short hair.. n i said alrite.. thou i say u look better in long hair.. din mean to luff at u.. jus happen to be so funny... who ask you to run into my dream... n came out wif those stuns.. it aint totally my fault.. im not out to make fun of u... jus tat you r way to cute and funny.. all of ur stupids n dumbdunb running in my head. making mi reali feeling like one... Pls.. listen to mi.. and dun jus ask mi to shut up!! wahhaha..

you are not miss nice.. you are a blg bully.. no im not like u.. cus im mr good.. sing along wif mi.. yoyoyo!! come on.. one more time..

hope you can get what i mean.. im jus worry im way too cool.. now i know you are hot.. and as black as banglah.. no i dun blame you.. i blame the sun..

i neeed no slap from you.. i jus need a clap.. put ur hands up.. put ur hands up.. follow the rhythum n clap.. 1..2...3...4

looking forward to DXO.. mirage event is on the way.. dun walk mi out on saturday.. im scared of being alone.. wahahhaa..

im not lame.. im not shit.. u know wad? im jonathan..

open ur eyes wide n see.. this is all about u..

hate no school. hate no life.. everything will be fine..
dun be bored.. dun be shag..
thre is always mi to entertain.
be cool . be happy.. be ur esther tan..
i aint flirt i aint drunk
im strong and decent..
misses u? theres a chance..
pls dun be angry
or i will sad
dun b vain .. get normal
ru hua is jus a joke..
not for serious
u r too cute to be tht
screw those nags u hate
n move on
ite aint that bad.. its jus sucks
so go for sch n mug
dun scold mi bcus of this..
cus i use a blog of mine...
all this for you to see..
apprecaite and smile wif it..
everybody in pasir ris.
put your hands up..X 2
give a cheer for esther tan h.t
woOOO!!!
haha