我也不知为何？



我已经好久没有来我得簿落格（不知这样写对吗）。最近我也搞不懂我倒地在忙什么.一时间我找不到灵感。我也发现最近的记忆力有点退化。我觉得现在的生活空间十分的狭窄，也毫无乐趣。天啊！我倒地时怎么了？ 老是打不起精神来做一件事。我每天想东想西，就是不懂我再想些什么.
好累！

The same thing i hv done for almost 3yrs!







Everynight ever since oct 2005. i have read the letters u hv written to me . It was so sweet to recall those sec school memories. I dont know how to describe. I felt happy i felt sad.

im not sure whter what is ur impression of me now. but i will wanna tell u that . not everything can be tell from the outside. There might be some misunderstanding but ya. im not that kinda person. perhaps now u hv grown up to be more mature . but i just wanna let u know the letters hv been with me for all this period. i always want to write to u. but where should i start? i seriously dont know! perhaps now writing letters may be out of date. ya. i dont care.

this is what i wanna say all this long . nothing much within it. so ya.

tc. i will keep the letters with me . i will read it everynight. it will at least make me smile.

哀伤。痛苦。悲剧。




我不知该从何开始写起。最近在新加坡以外发生了一些很不幸的事。例如；中国四川大地震和缅甸导致河水泛滥的风灾。这两起惨痛的悲剧已弄得许多人家破人亡，妻离子散。这也让许多年幼的小孩变成孤儿，原本可以开开心心一家乐融融的一起生活，但现在这一切已变成了一个不可实现的一个梦。接下来的日支就要靠他们自己坚强的活下去。

现在我就把上个博客来做个总结吧！我提出那个问题就是为了要让人去思考，去想想看是否那样做是对还是错。我没有权利去改变人的想法或去改善现在已存在的问题。我同意每个人有不同的想法，价值观等等所以我不会说我是对的。这种事根本就很难说是谁对谁错。分手时当然痛，你越爱那个人，你会越痛。但往往爱情的事都不受我们控制，我们只能无条件地去爱，付出我们的全部。有时我们得回的少过我们付出的一半。所以我认为只要有努力过，有开心的回忆就无悔了。我已把我的看法说出来了，也得到别人的评语和个人看法。现在就将一切的事顺其自然吧。__________________________________________________________________________________

人—我们是几等人?


等，是我们日常生活不可缺的一个“活动”。为何我那么说; 请大家仔细想想，在我们的生活里有许多东西都让我们等。例如等电梯，等巴士，排队等着换钱。实际上还有很多让人等待的。“等”已成为我们生活上的一部分，而且还是顺着程序的。从早上开始- 如果你有喝咖啡或是其它的日饮料的话，你就得烧水来泡你所要的热饮来喝。冲了凉换好了衣服，就出门了。有的等巴士，有的等得士。别忘了还有驾车人士呢！他们也得等，但他们等的是交通登。


接下来还有接二连三让我们等得事。上班族的人就得等电梯还有邓拿薪水，哈哈！上学族的也得等电梯。休息时间就等排队买食物。就拿刚生下宝宝的夫妇，他们就地等待他们爱情的结晶漫漫的成长。还没结婚的就等待另一方开口向她求婚。单身人士不顾是男或女方都在等待他们的另一半。有些异想天开的人就在等着发财，等钱从天掉下。这也是一种等。哈哈！


就这样，我们不知不觉地在增加自己等的东西。慢慢变成很多“等级”的人。21世纪的人再也不只有上等或下等了！老人时常会说他们是一等人；“等死”。中年人就是三等人；等钱，等儿女长大，等死！到我们年轻这一代就有很多等.



人真的是其怪，青春期的我们随着年龄的增长，我们要等的东西有很多，但随着年龄的老化，等的东西就越来越少。这也可能使有的已经等到了。



所以“等”已经融入了我们的生活。但既然我们的等那么多，为何有的人还是那枚没有耐性呢？真的是搞不懂！要算出人是几等，我怕很难会有一的固定的答案！

帮助人是发自内心还是为了炫耀和为了面子？

本来我是不想再想起这件事情。但我真的吞不下这口气！搞到要向人借钱的时候，那个人一定是生活上遇到一些困难或者是一时周转不灵才向别人开口的。
我最讨厌那些自以为了不起，而且别人向你借钱时摆出很高傲的样子。比如，我向你借钱， 是我不对，我不该向你借。我是必不得已向你借钱。但你也不可以借了我那笔钱之后就到处跟人说你借我多少钱。我不是怕别人知道，但有着一个必要吗？跟别人说了我可以算了，但你也不可诋毁我和我的家人嘛！你也要向当初我是怎样帮你的，做人可要饮水思源。

我现在向你借得只是五分之一罢了。我真的搞不懂你搞到那么多对你有好处吗？。损人不利己！

你还把我对你说的话加盐加醋。弄到好像我在说谎话。害到我被人责骂。变成我是坏人。你在后面捅了我几刀你心知肚明。如果以后要帮人请你是发自内心的，而不是为了面子，炫耀 自己有钱才会帮人。你这样是害了那个向你借钱的人，不是帮了她。世上就是有这种喜欢搬弄是非的人，在社会害人害己。

我终于把它给发泄出来了。感觉比较舒服一点。哈哈！

讲心还是讲金？



到底是心重要还是金重要？21世纪社会的每个人都把金钱看得很重要，变得非常现实。我在想如果没有钱这个社会会变得怎样？就连原本跟金钱没有挂钩的爱情也变得非常现实。这就是我所要讲的。在新加坡，人人就是把话们在心里。对于有些敏感话题，不敢当面对有关媒体诉说，到后来就会像我这样用博客来表达自己的不满或心声。


如今的爱情观念变了许多。简简单单的爱情变得很复杂，难以捉摸。它也变得越来越贵。爱情不是讲心，讲感觉的吗？为何会把金钱和其他物制品扯上关系呢？难道有钱有车就会幸福吗？或者能断定他对你的爱有多深吗？我个人认为这是不可能的！但我还是不了解为何有些男或女人会想找有钱的，甚至不爱对方也能在一起？我现在不是想一竹竿打翻全船的人。可能是我倒霉还是因为莫种原因，我说遇到的，听到的，亲生体验到的都是那么样。打个比方，有一对情捛在一起3年了。他们中四开始在一起，原本是想单纯的她，随着年龄的增长，她的思想和所要求的东西也慢慢的在改变。不知为何，她跟他分了手。就这样，3年的感情就散了。后来她被发现跟一名有钱，有车，在社会算有一点名气的男性来往。难道金钱有那么重要吗？把3年的感情说散就散，好像捏死一只蚂蚁那么简单。爱情真的能用金钱来衡量吗？

别说3年的感情了，就连结了几十年婚的夫妻都会为了钱把感情闹得很僵，把他们许下的承诺给忘了-（每当感情到了谈婚论嫁的时候，女方总会说嫁鸡随鸡，嫁狗随狗，以后有饭吃饭，有粥喝粥。然后到了教堂，在神父面前宣誓，双方都会说会彼此爱对方，不管发生任何事，都会不离不弃，有福同享有难同当。）为了了钱的问题，他们可以把家搞得鸡犬不宁。钱真的能把这些所谓的真实感情给遮盖了吗？

有时候我也会在地铁车厢或巴士上有人会说谁的女朋友或男朋友为了钱跟人跑了。我相信这种事因该不罕见。钱真的能代表说有的一切吗？难道有钱就会有爱？怪不得老一辈时常说，等你有了钱，你还把没有女人吗？我在想为何现代人总事要向钱看呢？

我们就不能把钱看成其次，只要互相拥有对方，再一起开心就行了吗？钱固然重要但它不是爱情或生命的全部。

这是我第一遍用华语写的博客





哇！真的好难，有点不习惯。但是为了达成目标，我只好努力地去适应。
其实我觉得用华语来写博客比较能表达我自己。所以我决定以后用华文来写我的博客。

今天是个浪费时间的一天，我只上了45分钟的课然后就回家了。我说浪费的原因是我花了足足一个多小时的路程到学校，凳子还没坐热的收市书包走人了。气死我了！

在家真的是无聊，一个人面对四面墙。

就在此停笔吧。。。

i want to be your man, i will make u happy!





define that line above pls? Happy? what do u judge happy? u think u have done it. or the other party feels it she is happy? its hard to make one happy. cuz u will nv know what u do will make her happy. thou you tired ur best. she is still not specify.

Can i be freed from emotion and love? i kinda tired to be stuck in this kinda life.
Girls run away. dont truly love you.. and blah blah blah. the worst is, after u did so much. she can still bloodly hell tell u you are not her past! So ya. whats the point ?
this mayb karma . i wanna be immune to this but i cant.
i dont wanna fall into this again. how? now im starting to ! not after 2 yrs! pls!

club at POWER HOUSE!






isnt that bad afterall la. thou alot of adults. but ya. i did spot some young ones , pretty ones, hot ones i guess. hmm should be have ba! anw.. i didnt care that much. cuz my focus is only on one girl.. who is. JOCELYN. haha. i dance with her and drink and smoke, jus cannot imagine that after so long la. nv been out. once out. go clubbing . haa. aint that bad thou. nv take pics la, OMG> all that i took look sucky la. only joce looks nice nia.. eyeeeeeer.

i really enjoyed myself. thou someone left us alone there.. me n joce! arrgh.

Ah beng shaun!

went to meet up with sec school friends. had a heart chat with them. 8 yrs alrdy man.ahaha.

going to zouk tml with them!!

jocelyn and christina

done with my blog le. had fun ba! haha

im seriously sick and it kept me out of school for two days alrdy. wonder how much will i miss out man? hate the weather now . I have not been sick for so long alrdy. now let me sick till gao lat isit? Anw. one day there is a lady. i think is a surveyer asked me this. " what kind of girl will let me stare at her non stop? i replied u alrdy let me looked at u non stop. haa. cuz the surveyer was really damn cute la. ha. then she asked. do u believed love at 1st sight. i replied. yes. now its alrdy happening. aha. then she blushed. haa. ltr i told her to relax im only joking. BUt i do really believe love at 1st sight . aha. thou it has not happen for long. but ya. it is still my believe. lol

strange things are really happening la. aiyo. i had a dream on monday night and sunday night. both i dreamt of a girl that the is most unlikely one. i know her and she knows me. but that girl and me nv once hang out before. only interact while in camp. thats the only period. so ya.i cant find any reason to dream of her. i was kinda surprise. now bishan is gonna rain ,. wth ! sun rise and ltr rain. no wonder i will sick. damn the weather.

damn. Fall sick due to work heat and not enough slp. cannot take it man. tml may be skipping school alrdy . Spoil my perfect record so far. maybe tml i will force my self to go. or maybe go see doc take MC and it wont be affected? haha. still considering my option thou.

SHAUN u enjoy la. go air con place see char bo. NB! wahahha . the sales today was not bad . hmm. so can say its quite worthwhile ba. i do enjoy the working process but. the heat and sun is the main thing i hate. Arrgh. Going out on wed. im looking towards. SHAUN. dont joke with me hor. aha..

ADIOS!

OH.. this week quite happening to me . so far i hv enjoyed very much this week . Haa. Thou is abit tiring. But who cares about that if i enjoyed myself.
so YA. THanks to LILIN HUI KEE HUITING(hui kee's Cousin) SHAUN SEAH.

all my sec school good friends. Went to DBL O and O bar. didnt manage to hook ahy girls as i dont ha ve to mood to. Mayb I hv not been clubbing for a certain time. the music and the lightings are making me dizzy. ahha. sound s weird but its true. LUCKily enough hui kees cousin did dance with me. got SHAUN SEAH get the larger porpotion of time with her and he is so happy about it. im really glad that we can still meet up after so long ya. IT really fun .

YEA.. so now shaun and i make clubbing an activity that shoildnt be miss once a week till his NS enrolment. so ya. I must be very rich every week to go clubbing. Its so funny that i think of teasing my FREn with SLK . truly.. its a expensive car thou. why some girls just like just go towards richness leaving guys aint rich like me aside. doesnt it make sense.? is this love? hui kee. u can go die liao la... ahahaha.. only see GIM but not Xim. LOL.

starting to blend into the new clsmates and the school..
so many new faces in school i saw,

im so tired. still cant adjust my body time clock. i guess i will nv turn it back to normal.
as in dont hv normal sleeping time.

Is April the sad month or what? so many couples breakup cases. thou some may not occured in the month of April but i came to know those break up incident in April. ohman..

Ytd i was arguing with my friend whether Love At First Sight exit in this world. i say "Ya there is". my friend totally disagree and said there is no such thing as that. But i really do believe in that cuz im in that situation now. SO my friend and i debated for quite sometime. and finally came to a conclusion that his Love At First Sight and my Love At First Sight is different. Hmm. Perhaps ya.

Till now i still cannot forget the girl i saw at Orchard Far Eas Plaza..

God! can u arrange a time a venue a date for us to meet again? PLEASE!

WOW... so long nv touch my laptop !!!
I miss my Laptop so much!!


school starts! looking for the days ahead!

finally YR 3

Im going to tune back my memories to 1st JAN 2008

im going to not pretend to know everything. But practically , frankly
erasing eveything. yea. im going to do that. So i can Live HAppier.

so Anything that happen During this few months will be erased completely W/o Fail.

Regardless of PEOPLE, RACE, OR RELIGON. EVENTS, THINGS And ETC, will be completely be gone. I HOPE SO!

BRAND NEW MEMORIES WILL BE INSTALL!

_____________________________________________________________________________


to my dream girl

hey. how can i locate u? regretted nv ask for ur contacts. Saw u thrice at far east. one time that u r so near me . i dont dare to look straight to u. haha.

HOPE WILL BUMP INTO U AGAIN.

u r natural beauty!! haha

this time i dont know how to express myself.

all i know is Im missing someone

the feeling isnt good to have.

Im so sad to know the person you like wasnt me.

but its alright. i will still do my part to comfort you whenever you are feeling sad.

its so uncommon to see me falling into this kind of situation again.

this kind of feeling sucks , worst than not having a girlfriend.

Now im planning to change my principle of life.

Doing something that i dont really aprrove on .

I had already tried it out once recently.

feels great thou. no string Attached relationship

More of a fling kind of thing.

What about one night stand?

sooner or later, this will come in as a form of habit soon.

This wont bring any pain i guess to me or to other party.

as this doesnt consist any commitment.

this is just making good use of each other when there is a need?

I fuck care if there is Karma. Im single. I wwant to play.

Im gonna enjoy life now as im alrdy 20. thou thats not an UNCLE age.

but ya. i have been leaving behind peoples shadow.

Waiting for the impossible to be possible.

im not gonna bring misery to myself.

im gonna end this.

i guess it had already start on the 27th march 2008.


AGAIN, someone pls jugde me!

so boring luh



wednesday morning now i am alrdy rotting.
what is life?

let say, what is love? i dont get it. Explain to me please.!

Im always having more downs than UPs in my life.
How come sial.? Anyone can pls tell me.

I dont know what to blog about . Really bored.
What is going on down here .
No love no plans no money.
WAH.. This kinda life how to survive.?

How come other peoples life can be so colourful yet mine is so dull.?
This doesnt suit my theme of my blog !

Perhaps Love

On-je-yot-don-gon-ji / gi-yong na jin ah-na
ja-ku nae mo-ri-ga / no-ro u-ji-rop-don shi-jak
han-du bon-shik / doh-oh-ryu-dun seng-gak
ja-ku nul-o-ga-so / jo-gum dang-hwang-su-ru-un i ma-umpyol-il-I ah-nil su
it-da-go / sa-so-han ma-umi-ra-go
ni-ga ne-ge ja-ku (ne ge ja ku)
ma-rul ha-nun / geh o-saeng-han-gol


sa-rang-in-ga-yo / ku-de nah-wa gat-da-myon shi-jahk-in-ga-yo
ma-mi jah ku gu dael / sa-rang-han-dae-yo
on se-sang-i dud-du-rok / so-ri-chi-ne-yo
wae i-je-ya dul-li-jyoh oooohh…
so-rol man-na-gi we-hyae / i-je-ya sa-rang cha-jat-da-go
ji-gum nae ma-umul / sol-myong-ha-ryoh hae-do
ne-ga nae-ga dwe-o mamul nu kki nun bang bop ppun in de

i-mi nan ni / a-ne / it-nun-gol
ni a-ne / ni-ga it-du shi
u-rin so-ro-we-ge (so ro we ge)i
-mi gil-dul-yo / jin-ji mo-la

Seng-gak-hae-bo-myon (saeng gahk hae boh myuhn)
Manh-un sun-gan-so-ke (so ke)
Ol-ma-na manhun (yeah) sol-le-im it-ot-nun-ji
jo-gum nujun gu man-kum nan do jal-hyae jul-kke-yo

ham-ke hal-ke-yo / chu-wok-i dwel giokman sol-mul-hal-ke-yo
da-shin nae gyote-so / ddo-na-ji ma-yo
jjal-bun sun-gan-jo-cha-do bul-an-han gol-yo
nae-ge mo-mul-lo-jwoyo oooohh…
Gu-dael i-roh-ke ma-nhi (gu to rok ma-nhi)
Sarang-ha-go wi-so-yo (gu dae yo ya mahn) i mi


i like this song very very much. :)

Perhaps love (english)

I don’t know when it all started

When my head became dizzy with thoughts of you

These thoughts would often pop up in my mind

I feel anxious as my heart expands towards you

It’s nothing.. it’s just a little thingY

our words are awkward to me

Is it love? If you feel the same way, is it a beginning?

My heart keeps saying it loves you

It screams out for the whole world to hear

Why has it taken so long for me to hear it~?

We’ve finally met.. finally found love

If I wanted to show you how I feel

The only way would be for you to become me

I’m already inside of you

Just like you’re inside of me

To each other [to each other]

We may already be too accustomed

Is it love? If you feel the same way, is it a beginning?

My heart keeps saying it loves youI

t screams out for the whole world to hearWhy has it taken so long for me to hear it~?

We’ve finally met.. finally found love

When I think about it [when I think about it]

I realize how many moments there were when my heart trembled

I’ll try as harder as I was late in realizing my feelings

I’ll be with you, I’ll only give you fond memories

Please don’t ever leave me again

Even the shortest moments without you make me uneasy

Please stay by me~

I already love you so much (you’re the only one)