It has been a few months since i log in to my blog to actually write something down.. i had so much bottled inside which i hope i can let it out at one go.. but it is impossible.. too much to write maybe.. so many thing s happen this few months that i didnt know how and where to start.

last night i actually have the content strutured out in my mind.. but *poof* everything was forgotten. so i have to think what to write in my next few posts. maybe now i just wanna type words.. lotsa lotsa words.. to keep my mind stop thinking of unhappy stuff. Perhaps i shall write down whatever flash through my mind right now.. yup. RIGHT NOW! im starting to hate the the emotional period after breaking up.. why must i suffer all this ? i have given in so much yet i get this. i dont understand this. when can i really stop suffering from this cycle. Am i the problem.?? i getting out there trying to know new people... trying to change myself.. but i wouldnt know i changed. the new people out there wouldnt know too.. quite a headache isnt it?

well, i think this is one common thing i realise.. there are ppl out there having relationship problems too. all unhappy ones. i wouldnt mention names but ya.. they couldnt get what they desired.. same as what im experiencing too..  how i wish this can stop. trying to get into relationship... trying out is she the right one. why cant get a jackpot on the first try.. is it really that hard? how much suffering must one endured till getting the grand price? i seriously wonder. May be this is life.. feeling are hard to control.. things are hard to predict..

i still hold faith and believe in there is one out there rightfully belong to you ... he or she is the one will accept and love your every flaws and good points. simply.. everything of you. well, shall end my entry here. NIGHT!