whats next!!!






Chinese New Year ended, gambling ended. Visiting ended, Feasting also ended.. what will be next!

For me is JOB HUNT!!! this is really stressing me out.. i really want to get a job and earn money ASAP!

This year isnt a good year for me. Things arent up to my expectation. Well, i just have to live with it. Take whatever is being thrown at me. I do not have a choice dont i? Some things are meant to happen , cannot be avoided.


there are things i cant explain, it makes me feel sad whenever i thought of it , im still alone afterall.. thats all i can say. 

still inside

cannot believe im still thinking of you... but you will nv know...

today is not a day i will like to have .........





what i can say us that i had tough day, didnt sleep last night . i wanna drain out all my energy. while walking on the road side, everything around me seems to moving at a slower pace. i wonder why. well....


i screw up my studies, relationship. one wrong step taken, everything collapse..
how i wish i will fall and knock my head.. and poof.. everything will be forgotten.. in the world of my own.

I don't know why i don't feel any happiness at all..

Year 2009 is ending , Christmas and New Year is coming. but yet , the atmosphere of happy occasion isn't taking any effect on me..
Perhaps this year Christmas will be like the other ones in the past... although i thought it will be something different from the past .. to my dismay.. nope.. it remains the same..

i realize that from October onwards, my blog's entry is getting lesser and lesser.. i wonder why? 

Chocolate my best REMEDY

till now then i realise whenever im sad , i will automatically buy chocolate and eat.

the quantity i will eat depend on how sad am i. Eating chocolate do help.

the Sweetness that chocolate give me will make me forget my sadness for that time.
thou it doesnt help fully. it can still make me happy for that while.
last time from the wrapper i have thrown away, i then realise i really sad for the certain time.
most of the time if you notice me eating chocolate, my SAD time.but take note. sometime is just greedy =p

i didnt know when i started to have this habit of eating chocolate. im kinda opposite from certain people.

i like DARK chocolate especially and it has the same bitter taste like when im sad.

i think somehow a glass or even plastic bottle will explode if it is overloaded.

i myself like pictures of buldings and majestic architecture.

here are some of my favourites.!

Cool isnt it!

Quite a normal one. But i like.
now i shall add picutres to my blog so it wont be so boring.


shall be a normal daily post for now. its a rainny sunday. the weather is so cooling and it makes me feels like hibernating for the rest of the day.. i feel so reluctant to get down of my bed.. im writing this post on my bed tooo. =p but i tell myself i have got things to do. like ghost trappers .. mafa wars. haha. both of these are facebook application.. one important thing is to create the website portal for my love.. hmm.. ofcause its for free. just a normal click browse and go. so ya.!

give me the energy to do work,. please to whoever that hear me on top. thanks.!

i felt so .....






i have got no word to describe that blank above.. suddenly i felt that my vocab really sucks.
i have to face the fact that no matter what, im still a human with feelings and limits.. maybe time is the factor that really matter in whatever you do...

humans are so fragile in mentality and they can get so hurt easily. minority will stand out strong.
life isn't just happen to be like you will get what you expect. it will somehow differ from the result you wish for or expected. Is it because we didn't try hard enough.. or just trying hard isn't enough..

my friend said this : " Can two people from two different world with different views and expectation be with each other , accommodate each?

there isn't any gap when it comes to relationship . both parties must work together and make the difference and not let the differences hinder them.

so much words are left unsaid sometimes

todays class can classified as zombified!



for some reasons. i felt threaten? (from unknown sources) perhaps im just too bored in class and started thinking too much!


anw. results for COmmon test are out guess what. miracle happen! my jaws drop.

ECAD: C+ ( ytd result)
due to remarking of the paper due to mamy failures in the school. guess what. i jump up one more grade to B. and my paper has some error in making too, cuz my ans make sense ! added 2 marks. it becomes B+... ^^

DOA:B+( im quite stun too!)
my cute lect told me.. since you are not convince. i will send ur work for remarking! haha. i stopped him ofcuz.,. i just so stun. i just did like 2.5 questions out of 4 i guess.. haa. this is what i get? corruption la dey! lol. or i can say .. qns 4 i did 1/4 of it.?? was that given mark too. nevertheless! im happy.. what i can for my brilliant work in common test!

ECONOMICs: A(rumoured)
B(IMO)

Econs is my most confident mod in this sem . I hoping i can get A but.. ya.. if corruptions existed like what i mention above. haha. i might get it, if it comes from my capabaility, i think the most is a B+?
seriously speaking. i didnt pin too much hope in doing well in exams. you gave me the motivation to do so. (you know who) haha! but ya. i hope i didnt dissapoint you. my turn is over.. Now it is your turn to do well in your upcoming exams.. okay! you can do it .! *kisses*

tml will be my final judgement. last paper will be given out tml!
*prays*

so long ago
i didn't have a care about me
i didn't know my right from wrongbut now i know
that you left got love around me
you know it makes me feel so strong
baby if you turn around
and prove to me its real
maybe we can work it out
cos this is how i feel
do you know where you go when you give it all away
i'll be there for you, care for you
love you everyday oh baby
and do you feel the same for me?
everyday you're away
and i feel a little low
i would cry for you, die for you
just to let you know oh baby
and if you come to me you know i'll makeit right
through out all my life
i never thought i'd have somebody
someone to call my own
and now i've founda little bit of heaven baby
a place to call my own
and if you come to me you know i'll make it right



我突然好想用华文来写这编部落格. 但我不知要从何写起!
我的出现让你感到快乐吗？或许你已开始后悔？会吗？
我开始怀疑自己，信心开始动摇。
最重要的是. 你不要把我放弃. 没有你，我什么都不是

knock into my senses




seriously, i dont know what should i blog about recently as there are many things up in my mind.

each time i log into my account, i will think of what to blog 1st and stare at my comp for awhile
then i log out again. this happen a few times. Really many things and questions i have been asking myself lately.

i start to find out that my life or i should put it as social circle is so small . and the things i can do is so limited. i dont know. i really dont know.

perhaps is my own problem. i stick to my own way, my old self. i found out im really stubborn, whatever i want means i must get it.
i realise i have been drinking the same flavour of bubble for that more than 5 years. (blue coral) and the way i use the interact with others. and so many other things.
mayb recently i have change abit. i can feel that. but im still wondering whter that change is a good one or a bad one. must i subjected to changes? i dont know that too.

i really want to drink. drink the hell out of me, n forget myself , everything just for the moment when im drunk. i will be happy. there is really too many things in my head that i cant get out.

i cant find pple to drink with. drinking alone is way too boring. anyone can help?

i just want to have all the fun i can get . but this dont seem to be happening.

life still has to move on. happy or sad.








my school life started again.
out of the sudden, i felt that im missing alot of things.
missing out, missing some stuff, people and time
i start to recall my primary and secondary me and time.

the lifestlye i used to have
the things i love to do
the fun i use to have
the love i use to give and recieve
the commitment i use to give
the companion i use to enjoy
the confidence i use to own

everything i mentioned above are now all gone , vanish.
all of that might not be found again.
why things change so drastically
everything in a flash of time, VOOM! all gone

i missed the sport i use play. SOFTBALL
i suddenly miss the training , the play the call the bases the run.
most importantly the feel of the game.

i regret not commiting myself . i rather slack and waste time on some wasteful thing
i was wrong. its too late now.


i miss love too. missing too much. i cant describe it any further. just that ya. im missing love
im losing directions.
im starting to miss alot of things.
i start to realise there are alot of things around me waiting for me to discover
rather than doing the same old thing every week.
im lazy to seek to find to look.
perhaps i will do nth too. on my 21st bdae wich is 4 mths time

hey yo everyone out there.



attention!!!!


IF anyone LOOKING for JOB,

YOU can EMAIL to ur_the_one88@hotmail.com for more details.


Thank you!!

one&alone


lifes so boring
im just like the dead out cigaratte in the picture.
one and alone with others of not its kind.

it is so tiring to fight the problems alone. it is really exhausting.
soon my flame will be dead like the cig butt above.

seen through alot of things recently and found out that whats keeping life moving on.
when everything seems grey and complicated.
a puff may blown some of the headaches away but how long can it last . 1 0r 2 secs ?
and after that you will face all the same music again.. how can ones life move with such misery .
not a single melody is being played. but unwanted noise is the one sounding all the time.
how i wish i can be immune to such things but i seriously cant.
can i find a companion? how long will it takes?
GOD KNOWS

Drink.Drank.Drunk.Halloween





What waste that i never took any pictures in the club. So many people with costumes like Dracula, Skeleton ,Pumpkins and many more. This is one of the few times that i attend halloween parties . I remember the other time was at a club in Hong kong, the atmosphere was quite different from here. so ya. a different experinece . but with the same result. i drank alot alot untill haha.

This thime around all the drinks are free. so i keep drinking and drink and drink. there were this two lovely ladies approached me to drink . At first i thought they were the staff working at the culb as they were wearing the same costumes. Had a short convesation i realise they were costumers too.. hah what a joke man. ! they were spower drinks i can tell u .. Almost got knock out by them . but fortunately. i manage to survive.

a night of fun it was!

Choosing between darkness and wonder!




i saw one of my friens' blog post.. her emo-ness can match up mine. but ya. this isnt a good thing. but ya. i can see that she seems to be enlighten by some of her friends words. This is a good thing i believe. at least she still got her friends around her to support her. Ever since i know her, i know that she is an emo kid la. and i have been chasing her blog too. so ya i din miss anything that is happening .

so i got so idea of this.. when being emo. is like being in the dark. everything seems so dull. whatever in life seems to be nth.. empty.

this is the difference when u r emo and happy. Wonder ! u can choose the direction of life u wanna be .. like the pic above.


regarding to someone asking me who i like? hmm . this is what ----->

is it that impt to know who i like? i see no reason revealing this as i already mention that if that person know, everything we are now will change. so ya. i rather keep it the same as normal. liking a girl secretly is a fun thing. hahahah
( follow up from previous entry) =)

男人ktv


前奏才刚刚响起
就有人哭红了眼睛
唱着他们的订情曲
对不起提了你的伤心过去
一堆男人下了班不回去
十几个人坐在ktv
唱着青春随风远去的回忆
说这年头还有什麽让我们动心
男人歌唱给谁来听
下一首有没有你心情
我和你吻别在无人的街张学友唱出我的情结
男人歌唱给谁来听
下一首有没有你心情
你的背包让我走的好缓慢
陈弈迅那首歌是唱的他自己
男人歌唱给谁来听下
一首有没有你心情
我和你吻别在无人的街张学友唱出我的情结
男人歌唱给谁来听下一首有没有你心情你的背包让我走的好缓慢
陈弈迅那首歌是唱的他自己
男人歌真的唱的不是不该说的心情

10 signs to show im in love with YOU

10. You are the first thing i think about when i wake up and the last
thing i think about when i fall asleep

9. Just thinking about you when puts the biggest smile on my face and my heart
heart beats faster and faster (like now) =)

8. Every love song u hear , i think of you

7. i re-read all the convos we had over and over again

6. when we are together, i never want the moment to end , i want last forever and
ever

5. Whenever im with you or look at you, nothing esle in the world matters. Im
blind to everything but you.

4. I am on cloud nine jsut the way you smell

3. Just by hearing your voice, i get rainbows and cant help but smile.

2. i miss u even before you leave.

1. i would do anything in the world for you since you are the world and everything
to me....

Confession of truth and facts.



After considering for a while. i think i will do an english anf d chinese combo within an entry? so for my friends who read my blog and choose to read either english or chinese. Freedom to choose. just that a little bit of trouble. but thats fine! im so free and hv really nth better to do .

now i think this entry will be a quite a long one with some thickness of content to write.
.
.
.
.
how i wish im in a la la land or fantasy land . w/o worry . w/o emotion so that i wont fall in love and hv the after effects of breaking up , loneliness for a some time then blah blah blah! and other than falling in love. i wont hv any misery cause by other stuff.. i wonder how will that kind of world be like? hmmm???

its has been almost 3 years being single.. different pple will hv different thoughts of being single. but for me .. ITS VERY VERY VERY boring. ya i know there is friends. but what wil happen if ur close friends all are attached. who will have the time to bother u? its a fact that al my friends are like damn busy with their own stuff.. no time !!! so i only can rot and rot.. nth much to do. other than that,, hmm.. nobdy to confide to . kinda sad actually. have to suffer alone. im lost in the my blank world. struggling . sometimes pple say ya. single is good, freedom and stuff.. no fighting no nth... is that the way u are thinking? being single there is too much freedom that lead to boredom! fighting the one u love is kind of fun if u look at it on the other angle.. an angle which u wont be able u know when u r in relationship. try to think back. hee. i may sound stupid but ya thats what i felt. trying to find one relationship. but cant. perhaps time isnt ripe yet. or i shall be single for another 10yrs? haha. i hope not .!!!! if not i will bbe bored to death@@

all the long i hv been telling pple lie . ahha. so now i hv a confession to make. when pple ask me who i like or sth. i would deny or ssay no i dont like anyone . i immune to this kind of thing and stuff. but the fact is i do think i like someone . quite some time already. i just hv been trying to run away. not to admit that i actually like someone. cuz i think there will be no result in the end . hmmm. i think im not the guy for her. i dont think she got the chemistry towards me . i know pple will ask me try. but no thnks . i rather like her in this way and mayb carry on not letting her know.. so that we can still be friends.. n hang out sometimes. yea.. there isnt much happening between me her. so ya.. this is one way traffic kind of thing.



真情的告白


好吧！我已用了英文来苏诉说了一些事。那么我现在就长话短说吧。
我觉得做认真得很累，用许多事要去面对。不管是好的坏得都要自己一个人来面对。
所以我觉得单身真得很孤单，想找人诉说心事都难。 又是一对情人吵架，我觉得还蛮有趣的。
这样是另类互动来了解对方的方法。人也不会觉得那么闷。

其实我一直都有喜欢的人，我只是不敢去面对这事实。因为我觉得这段恋情根本不会发生。我陵园暗恋她，好过向她告白，这可能会让她躲避我，那时可就糟糕了。更何况这事我单方面的喜欢。就让它就这样下去吧！

Unpredictable.beyond control.Helpless




there are so many things that humans we ourselves cannot control like death, sudden lost of love ones, love relationship and etc.

how many times can one human suffer from these different kind of blow at one time. can we really withstand this kind of pressure? there is so much to handle that one may collaspe at anytime. One moment of happiness, one moment of saddness, this sudden change is just like taking ROller coaster..

it doesnt help much by letting all out. it really doesnt help as the pain will still remain there no matter what..

i dont cry . i dont show any sign of sadness doesnt mean i dont care at all. doesnt mean i dont feel sad , misery. do u know its worst that i can show anything out. i just wanna be strong and not letting other pple worry. am i wrong ? there are so muchh stuff to tink and plan when this kind of tragedy happen.. lets survive it tgt!!!

Im back !!



it has been 3 mths since i last update my blog. till now im still thinking whther to use chinese or english for my 1st post 3 mths.. but for the majority, i think that use english will be a better choice as some of my dear friends cannot really read chinese.. after all english is still the international language known by most of the pple.

during this 3 mths , alot of things happen.. i dont think i wanna write those sad stuff in here yet.. dont wanna spoil the atmosphere for the 1st post after so long. so ya... for the subsequent posts i will update in either chinese or english. depending on my mood.

some of my friends are in army already.. soon will be almost all my friends. how ???? what can i do? i need not go army.. so i wll be bored to death!! who can help me？ worst is i dont hv alot of girl friend. and those who i know most of them are already attached , had to acc boyfriend, so ya. so i shall not go disturb them for much.. what can i do then? think think think!!!!


my 21st bdae is coming !!! how can i celebrate.. those who read this post pls.. do rmb it k.. 11th of march hor.. present !!!! haha.. rmb i dont recieve any present when im 17 onwards..how sad right. only i give pple !! hais.. dont know why.. still think of how to celebrate... any suggestion?? feel free to tell me leh. i really got no idea of what to do.

im not excited about it anw. cuz there is sth bothering me.. im feeling down recently. why must human hv emotions.. so miserable..

i hv things yet to be fulfil. these things are to be fulfil b4 my 21st bdae.. but 6mths left. how?