i cant believe i will be facing my laptop now trying to finish this post.. i need extra focus because i had so much drink at this event held at great world city! suddenly so emotional!!! wanna let out what i try to hide inside at one go!!

After hearing some of my girl friends about thier story.. i was thinking their difference and mind.. just that our encountering is opposite.. if we take it out and mix and match.. we will be so perfactly made for each other. well maybe im not your cup of tea or vice versa. things just happened.. cannt be help...

i think i had my emotion enclosed for too long.. now one shot it wanna let it all out... i try to bear with it. i was so afraid that i willl burst into tears in the public!!! so i try to bear with it till now...

this will be the last time. i swear.. i will move on

this is ever so random.. S(my ex gf) didnt see me as part of her life .. either in the present or in the future. she made me burn my letters from my girlfriend last time which i have kept for 2 years? everytime ask for breakup in a quarrell? during each quarell is all your saying, i kept quiet.. maybe that doesnt seems to be a quarrell since is just a person speaking. LOL.. i suddenly felt so stupid after i make her my priority, making so much effort to give her surprise and stuff.. but everything end with a snap i guess. Well i tolerate every temper she throws at me , behave such a princess. but ya. its okay. cause i love her.. . this will be the last bit about her.. i will be strong and move on the moment you start difting away from me.. BYE!



Well, i dont know is it fated that for me to meet you attracted me when i first saw you. i have been trying to restrain  myself from liking anyone but ya. just like car when out of control. Not to exaggerate but the smile of yours really  so sweet.(killer smile)(shot by Sinper) thats the moment..  i ever so want to appraoch you but i so afraid. shy maybe. so afraid to be rejected.. but ya. you got your reasons... hmmm... well, i taking my steps ever so carefully and slowly to approach you. just like an 80 year old man going down the stairs...

i start to see and take things differently now.. all i hope for you to be happy and well....

PS: wanted to tell you , if you are sad , let me know, i will be there for you.. but how! Mxxxxxxx

i had so much things to blog about last night while i was fishing.. but today i couldnt remember of the things i wanna blog about. DAMN! am i getting old? oh man i just 22 this year yet.. not even in my 30's yet.
speaking of which, im wondering how did i spend my past 21years. All i can is time really flies, what happened in primary school was like yesterday. Upon saying this, i like how life was so easy and carefree when i was young.. nothing to stress about.. eat play sleep.. well, once awhile study.. haa. As we grow older, we tend to get more stressful.. stress how results , school to enter . Slowly relationship problems to stress about .. then work stress, expenditure stress and etc.. Is this a system that we must go through?

put that aside. how i wish i can get out of singapore and lead life else where. Singapore though is safe and disaster free, it to small and somehow boring . Nothing much can be done here.. no sight viewing other than the ferries well and the singapore river.. shopping, drinking and clubbling. after doing all this, we are back to square one again. no matter how many shopping malls are being built now at orchard. its still same. no new recreation venues to be done at night .. the new things other than the casino. i wanna laugh when i said casinos.. youngsters cant even go in. other than leisure.. the weather here sucks .. though i stayed here for years.. it is way too boring.. sunny or rainning.. and that make ppl sick.. agree??

im wondering why do i keep doing this to myself? i feel the compulsion to keep going on...then i realise im stupid for making myself unhappy . Sometimes ppl just so into one thing and stuck.. and takes a long time to realise the way out...

remember , everyone has their own lives and they lead them differerently, and as the matter of fact that whether i can find the one to walk down the aisle and the rest of my life with me,life goes on for me now.Not try but stop thinking of those unnecessary stuff that has no answers to them, that is really the beginning and the end together. lead my life well and hopefully when i look back in the future years, i will be proud of what i've achieve. love myself and ppl will love me.

And such are the words i keep repeating to myself. i always say that im lacking of something, im dont really know what it is? i just my life to be smooth. Is it too much to ask for? Perhaps someone up there can answer me..

ps: i hope you are happy..

It has been a few months since i log in to my blog to actually write something down.. i had so much bottled inside which i hope i can let it out at one go.. but it is impossible.. too much to write maybe.. so many thing s happen this few months that i didnt know how and where to start.

last night i actually have the content strutured out in my mind.. but *poof* everything was forgotten. so i have to think what to write in my next few posts. maybe now i just wanna type words.. lotsa lotsa words.. to keep my mind stop thinking of unhappy stuff. Perhaps i shall write down whatever flash through my mind right now.. yup. RIGHT NOW! im starting to hate the the emotional period after breaking up.. why must i suffer all this ? i have given in so much yet i get this. i dont understand this. when can i really stop suffering from this cycle. Am i the problem.?? i getting out there trying to know new people... trying to change myself.. but i wouldnt know i changed. the new people out there wouldnt know too.. quite a headache isnt it?

well, i think this is one common thing i realise.. there are ppl out there having relationship problems too. all unhappy ones. i wouldnt mention names but ya.. they couldnt get what they desired.. same as what im experiencing too..  how i wish this can stop. trying to get into relationship... trying out is she the right one. why cant get a jackpot on the first try.. is it really that hard? how much suffering must one endured till getting the grand price? i seriously wonder. May be this is life.. feeling are hard to control.. things are hard to predict..

i still hold faith and believe in there is one out there rightfully belong to you ... he or she is the one will accept and love your every flaws and good points. simply.. everything of you. well, shall end my entry here. NIGHT!