arrgh.......






the same old shit again.. fuck

why cant i spend my life smoothly.
this is realy fcuk up
i dun wanna spend my life like that

i have no money
i have no love
i have no choices
i have no body to talk to

all i have is myself
and ofcus
my buddies

u r the one since long
how can i confess
there is nth i can do..
all i can do is to spending time wif u w/o u know im falling for u.

i jus cant have wad i want.. why?? is this my fate
what have i done wrong? m i reali the bad?
all i want is happiness..
cant i jus get that? it is so simple..

once i fall into it..
the cycle starts again..
why jus cant man survive love?
perhaps some can .. but defintely not mi..
who is the one?? i seriously dunno

im tired of waiting
im tired of seeking
im tired of finding
im tired of searching
in fact. im gonna give up
it reali sux..

overall..

happiness... i want!!!

bother... bothered.. bothering....






there is sth kept wif mi for very long.. from primary 5 till now.... its jus something i cant shake it off.. for the decade... thou many things happen in between. but it jus cant shake it off.. arrgh..



the dumb dumb esther tan... duno how to make her comp still wanna act act ah..
pls la.. haha.. dun act k!! wahaha..
anw.. your bro eugene is funni n quite cute la.. cuter than u at least. haha.. so dun oways bully him can.. hhaha... thou ur hus is far.. but quite nice to slack ah.. relaxing man.. lol..
nxt week is ur tuition week hor.. RMB.. dun 4get. lol. N lvl coming.. wahaha.. mus get into O lvl ok.. i pls u now k? dun slp n slp la.. haha

there is this gal... LOL




you are in short hair.. n i said alrite.. thou i say u look better in long hair.. din mean to luff at u.. jus happen to be so funny... who ask you to run into my dream... n came out wif those stuns.. it aint totally my fault.. im not out to make fun of u... jus tat you r way to cute and funny.. all of ur stupids n dumbdunb running in my head. making mi reali feeling like one... Pls.. listen to mi.. and dun jus ask mi to shut up!! wahhaha..

you are not miss nice.. you are a blg bully.. no im not like u.. cus im mr good.. sing along wif mi.. yoyoyo!! come on.. one more time..

hope you can get what i mean.. im jus worry im way too cool.. now i know you are hot.. and as black as banglah.. no i dun blame you.. i blame the sun..

i neeed no slap from you.. i jus need a clap.. put ur hands up.. put ur hands up.. follow the rhythum n clap.. 1..2...3...4

looking forward to DXO.. mirage event is on the way.. dun walk mi out on saturday.. im scared of being alone.. wahahhaa..

im not lame.. im not shit.. u know wad? im jonathan..

open ur eyes wide n see.. this is all about u..

hate no school. hate no life.. everything will be fine..
dun be bored.. dun be shag..
thre is always mi to entertain.
be cool . be happy.. be ur esther tan..
i aint flirt i aint drunk
im strong and decent..
misses u? theres a chance..
pls dun be angry
or i will sad
dun b vain .. get normal
ru hua is jus a joke..
not for serious
u r too cute to be tht
screw those nags u hate
n move on
ite aint that bad.. its jus sucks
so go for sch n mug
dun scold mi bcus of this..
cus i use a blog of mine...
all this for you to see..
apprecaite and smile wif it..
everybody in pasir ris.
put your hands up..X 2
give a cheer for esther tan h.t
woOOO!!!
haha

hey hey hey...





yawnXxXxXx.... i so tired sia.. monday.. tuesday nv have enuff slp. haha.. so tring leh... alamak... hmms.. cus of a siao siao gal la.. haha... cus of her.. i slpt in AM in the morning.. a few hrs ltr wake up for sch.. arrgh.. haha..

stress siol!! haa.. cant imagine i chat wif her for so long la.. endless tings to tok abt ?? i dunno.. times flies lor.. when 1am.. i say i 2am slp... den ltr overshot.. haha.. i den say 3... haha.. in the end.. overshot again.. haha..

i wan my lollipop.. this gal owe mi ah.. whahaha

still the same old thing la!!!!



woke up halfway of my slp again.. wah piang.. sian ssssss... i wanna zzZZzzzZZ!!! arrgh. im phsycially tired, but mental.. nt tired.. seems to be working.. haha..cant stop my brain down.. it is way too pwerful haha.. nth to to.. no hp to sms.. arrgh.. now onli can blog. n listen to radio n dl songs..

wanna let my mind settle down . haha.. dun tink of anything n let mi slp!!!!

monday sch reopen... im so sian abt it.. no more fun at nite..no more late slp.. if not.. cfm = skip school.. lol

feeling weird...



feeling abit.. hmms... strange.. haa.. like something is amiss? or perhaps like sth is missing.. ahaha.. cant kip myself entertain leh.. jus feel bored n sth is short..

i went to gym as usual like 3 time a week? tink sch reopen i cant go that often .. mayb 2 times? i will ccfm go to gym to main my body.. haha.. if not.. all my effort will go dwn to drain.. lol... progress is gradualli revealing itself..

now.. again.. my hp is being fucking stolen AGAIN.. i very very piss alrdy .. wanna sms pple oso cannot.. how sia? cant live w/o hp leh.. haha.. i wanna sms.!!!

some gals said this: " we gals wanna lose wieght n wanna be slim n nice.. but why u guys like to gain weight n look bulky???" haha... contridicting ah..
some gals dun like guys to be too bulky... some gals like their bf to b muscular.. n den some dun like? how leh? headache.. confusing .. puzzling?
last time my ex say i too skinny.. but u like mi as the way im wad.. kip asking mi to gain weight.. so wad now i hv gain weight? still the same wad.. like/love mi for the way im... haha.. oh man.. i still cant get my blog out of the relationship topic.. haha..

anw.. i slowly changing. haha.. wait n see ba.. weee!!!

oh sad.. i miss the attica trip 2dae.. =(

cant seems to get a nap / slp




e-m-olicious post is rite on the way...

cant get a fucking nice slp recently.. dunno wad my mind is tinking man.. the blood vessels seems to be like cocking up wif some stuff..

wads up wif mi man... oMg!! depression is falling upon mi .. someone save mi!!!
let mi post wads in my mind ....



*---*----*----* ---*---*---*---*---*---*

i wouldnt say i love u forever... cus i believe nth can last forever.. everlasting love is jus craps n bullshit that all guys say to get the girls love or heart n wad so eva.
happy moments are oways short-lived.. everything within our sight that is wonderful mus be cherish. so i can tell u that i would nt say ; dear i love u forever... i will say: dear i will love u for every sec from now ''. . i dun believe in everlasting love as every livings die one day.. even paper can bio-degrade.. so wads the point in believing in that? no point seeking for something that dont exist. even a married loving couple's love cant last forever.. one of them will die eventually of old age living the other one behind.. jus treasure wadeva u hv got. the loves one and etc... try to make them feel their the happiest pple on earth.. if the couples can be tgt aft death, congrats!! den they can pursue their everlasting love.. onli aft death, things will everlast.

no more tearing for a gurl wch leave mi behind... wasting of energy n water resource... come on man.. SIngaopre dun even hv enuff water.. so dun waste.. lol
its is not worthwhile aft all as she did bad to u.. wads the use of crying like someone die? come on! even u cried on someones wake, the dead oso wun come alive, somemore this is a walking human... kus fcuk it n get on life.. i believe there is jus one mr n mrs rite for everyone living one earth.. like adam n eve, romeo n juliet...


romance aint practical, romance is out of track.. romance is dangerous. romance is facinating, romance is sth pple cant jus simply use words n define, romance is sth we feel and cant be seen by naked eye, valentines day is a day to let the romantic cells in our body out? nonono.. if we r happy tgt, everyday is a valentines day.. romance will jus come n filled the air around us.. there is no definite ans for romance.. we cant find an ans to it to.. diff pple ... or shud i say, diff lady got difff expectation of romance.. guys r oways the one cracking their mind thinkin wad romantic stuff to do for thier gf n even for the person the like.. why is this so? cant gurl do it for a guy? come on la.. this is 21st century.. open society for all.. wahaha..

*promises from guys are nt oways true. it usually depends. but promises are nt meant to be broken. some might say it for the sake of saying.. some might mean it. ya .. so jugde!! dun be mesmerised by sweet talks.. in the end.. blame it on the guys. lol..

im bothered by all this kinda shit.. someone pull mi out of this love n relationship stuff.. pls!!!

i find quite unqiue of this " take some chill pill" .. understand wad it means? lol.. some dumdumb, stingray gal intro mi this chill pill thing. haha.. quite funny la..

fun nite .. fun day.. woooo!



cannt imagine i had a total a fun nite at twn 2dae... is not like normal fun.. is extremely fun.. and i actuali msg someone for 4hrs plus plus plus.. haha.. ytd nite was reali fun to mi.. but may sound bored to others... i went to slack n drink at CHIPS... the beer there was fucking cheap on tuesday.. so we rank non stop.. til im high.. weird ah.. drink beer i will get high easily.. while alcohol nt that fast... but nvm la. nt high nt fun ma.. whahah.. the chicken wings there is also damn nice.. mus go there and grab a bite nxt time.. aft the drinks .. we went walking round n round orchard.. searching for a corner to slack.. and we found one.. coffee bean.. the time was about 1am plus.. we sat dwn chat.. den sth sturck our mind.. we went to took some snapple n run to ZAra n slack. haha.. aft finishing the drink. hoho.. we played rolling bottles... haah. see whos can roll dwn the stairs w/o breaking n the furthest.. but in the end.. we end up throwing the bottles la.. damn it.. haha.

soon aft this. we felt abit hungry . den we went back to coffee bean . this time round,, we spotted the frigde there isnt lock.. whahaa... god is wif us.. lol.. so we open it up.. there is good stuff inside.. tuna, ham, chicken.. lol.. we even brought bread from 7-11 to go wif that.. lol.. free food oways taste so nice.. who says that dwn into the nite there is nth to do at twn.. ITS SO NICE TO LEPAK (slack) haha.. we ate and chat happily.. lol.. too bad thre is no ice cream in the frigde.. if not it will be a wonderful meal.. lol.. till 4 plus.. that damn fat security came.. n we ran like some mad dogs jus ecaspe from the cage.. we run to 4 season hotel to hide.. lol.. panting heavily.. but it was damn happenin can...thr security gave us some entertainment ya.. lol.. aft a while ... we slowly walk back.. den saw tht guard again.. damn it la.. nid to run.. while running , im still msging that person la.. haha.. nearly knock onto a tree sia.. but nv.. phew.. exciting nite i hv..

actuali this blog of mine is emo one la.. most of the blogs are e-m-o.. this is few of the happy blogs.. lol
this post actuali wanan post some emo stuff.. but 2dae happenings make mi 4gt wd to post.. nvm.. i shud recall n post it some other day..

this gal, or lill gal,, big gal.. arrgh.. dunno la.. i jus manage to locate her jus .aft last seen at dxo was reali nice to chat la.. seldom mit this kinda.. nice to chat not = to talkative.. jus find that can click? haha.... she shud be honoured k.. lol..

E-m-o post nxt..

almost a week....



i dunno wad am i busy wif for the past one week.. haha.. nv update my blog.. recently hv been drinking at nite.. holiday now .. so bored... no part time job .. no money .. no life.. struggling to survive this time.. i hv almost rot at home everyday last weeek... till the fashion show of mooks at mos.. it was fun.. get to know some pple.

where is my dear dear fren? missing in canada? haha... i was waiting for her reply evryday ... but.. nth came into my inbox.... i missing u badly .. QUICK!! come back to singapore...

how happy how sad....




how i wish u know how i felt abt u? i happy that ur returing... im sad that i dunno wad im tinking.. im reali looking 4ward to any outing wif u ... tinking of that im reali excited.. haha.. nv seen u for dunno how long alrdy...

anw, finally my body had shown some improvement. wahaha.. i hv gained 2kg.. now my weight is 58kg.. lol... 2more kg to go man... den reach 60 my ldeal weight.. the best can add some more weight la.. den can train till fit fit.. hotu im fit now.. but not the right size i wan... lol./

reali truly... indeed

i wan to become heavier n bigger in size.. thou for the past one yr.. i hv put on weight and my muscles did grow bigger.. n i did gain abit of weight.. but thats all not enuff leh.. i wan more !! haha.. bigger n heavier.. now my weight is abt 57.5kg. my ideal weight is 60 and above sia.. when can i reach that target leh.. lol.. thou results are slowly revaeling.. im gonna gym gym gym.. train train train..

who will be my motivation? lol .. very quite some time i hv been tinking abt this gal.. how can i confess it to her? will she find ridiculous? i hardly see her leh.. she is wad i wan.. she is wad i need.. but .. how can i let her know.. reali a headache leh,, i still got one last paper on thursday. hope i can make it lor.. lol.. im trying to get close to her.. but it seems hard man.. no chance was given to mi .. she oways so busy.. perhap.. im no one close to her yet.. thats y.. i msg her oso nv reply most of the time.. but its okie la.. at least still got reply.. at least i know wads going on wif her n wads she is tinking.. luckily there is such thing AS BLOG.. can go read wad she update.. haha.. tats where i can get to know her tinking n stuff. lol.. it does hlp mi alill.. at least i msg her,, n show her my concern.. nv reply nvm,... at least she will know i care abt her lo..

hmms. hmms.. hmms..


my fren was very sad abt her hair ... i was shock too when she say her cut hair till short.. hmms.. i felt sad oso la.. her nice beautiful long hair..i will miss that.. anyway.. i have nt seen her current hairstyle. but tink wasnt that bad la... hmms... aft all is stil her wad.. dun be sad la fren .. k.. i will around to acc u for ur to grow... cheers k

today is a half happy half sad day for mi lor.. happy= a msg from someone that i wished i would recieve.. haha.. sad= no news from the sender after i reply her .. sobs sobs.. i cut my hair 2dae.. feel so cooling n light man.. hahaha.. i like it la.. hmms.. i didnt reply immediately cus i was cutting my hair .. haha.. when i replied was half an hour ltr lor.. but no news from the sender leh.. dunno why.. haha.. might be she sent to the wrong person den ltr on she den realise ba.. anw, im still happy to see her name on the sender column.. lol..
2dae went out wif mu buddies to orchard , to e2MAX. play game,, eat soya bean curd. nice supper la. haha.. im tinking of the msg thou. haha.. i tink im dead la. cnt finish my 1500 EASSY LA... how how how? deadline SUNDAY..

tink im gonna fail le la.. *weepS*

jus blog in this for fun la... i gt nth to do... sad case lor...


WOMEN. LADIES.GIRLS. aint born into this world for guys to understand..
they born into this world for guys to love, to pamper, to care, to dote. LOl
treat them wif all the love u can.. love them like u nv love before.. cus once chances are gone.. missing gone forever...

ohya.. i hv got felicia chins blog wif mi ya.. feel free to visit.. haha// ----->

end .. lol

title: this shud be the way



i reali got nth to do leh.. so damn bored la.. waiting for SOME PPLE to ask mi out la.. i hv waited for so long alrdy can... i miss my fren in canada.. faster come back n let mi hug u... lol.. thou i hv got assignment to do.. im still bored.. dunno why? i got no mood to do leh.. no inspiration oso.. hais.. wads going on wif mi man.. lol.. tinkng of sumbdy la.. haha.. my mind is filled of her la.. no matter how hard i shake my head.. she still dun wan come out.. actuali my mind / brain got ample space to store things.. but due to her.. conquering my brain space.. haha.. now my memory is running low.. die die die.. hmms..

anw, i rather u be my guardian angel than mi being urs.. cus u r the one hu makes mi slow down my footsteps n appreciate the beautiful things around... u nake it so wonderful. u beautify n complete my world.!! ( nice? haa.. dun gt mistaken.. tis isnt for any1 yet.. im still waiting for the gal wch makes it worthwhile for mi to say this to her.. i tink this phrase grow mouldy , it still hvnt come out of my mouth. haha)

title: satisfy is wad i wanna see nowadays!!!



i seriously duno wads up in my frens mind . he jus got attach abt mth.. and now he is showing us stunts again.. NV see his gf for 10 days.. his gf was like missing him like hell la... how cud he bear to do tis to his love one? for mi.. i wudden.. denfintely.. n he say.. he wanna brk up.. i was like .. WTH! AGAIn? the previous one is abt the same thing... being tgt for awhile den feeling fade.. come on la.. den why in the 1st place wanna be tgt n now brks the gals heart? fren ah fren.. i can tell the gal truly loves u la.. she even initiated to msg u liao.. saying she is missing u badly.. but u dun even reply her.. why sia? i reali dunno wad to say man.. wad u mean by she can get a better man, n u can get a better gal? she is gd enuff... u cant say she is short den lidat treat her wad.. i can sense tat she is damn sad la.. wake up fren.. be satisfy la.. pls consider carefully before u do anything k... she is reali a nice gal .. i tink u can tell la hor.. i cant interfere much oso.. all depends on u..
i hv gt 2 kinds of frens.. one is wad i mentioned above.. the other type is chi qing. 3 mths n yet my the other fren cant gt over a gal wch treat him badly.. hais.. i stress out alrdy la.. facing this 2 kind of pple.. i myslef oso cant be any better la.. im single.. i cant say much.. CHEERS!!!

this one is funny. Come ON READ IT!

ENGLISH PHRASE.................................CHINESE TRANSLATION

1)."That's not right".................................Sum Ting Wong

2)."Are you harboring a fugitive?"........Hu Yu Hai Ding

3)."See me ASAP"....................................Kum Hia Nao

4)."There goes Stupid Man"...................Dum Dum Wa King

5)."Small Horse"......................................Tai Ni Po Ni

6)."Did you go to the beach?"................Wai Yu So Tan

7)."I bumped into a coffee table"..........Ai Bang Mai Ni

8)."I think you need a face lift"............Chin Tu Fat

9)."It's very dark in here".....................Wao So Dim

10)."I thought you were on a diet"......Wai Yu Mun Ching

11)."This is a tow away zone"...............No Pah King

12)."Our meeting is next week"..........Wai Yu Kum Nao

13)."Staying out of sight!"....................Lei Ying Lo

14)."He's cleaning his automobile"......Wa Shing Ka

15)."Your body odor is offensive".......Yu Stin Ki Pu

16)."Great".............................................Su Pah

17)."Your price is too high"..................No Bai Nut Ding

18)."Has your flight been delayed?".....Hao Long Wei Ting?

19)."They have arrived".......................Hia Dei Kum

20)."I got this for free".........................Ai No Pei

21)."You know Macarena lyrics?".......Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?

22)."Stay out of sight"...........................Lei lo

this is shud be the story.

like wad i hv mentioned in my past posting., gals shud be pampered n dote. rather than hurting them n make them tear.. i cant bear to see them tear la. esp the one i love / like.. i will do anything to maje them luff.. i mentioned b4 long ago in my blog le.. i still hvnt change. haha. some of my guys fren say tat we shudden pamper gals for no reasons.. den i was like thinking" why mus got motive leh?' den tat doesnt come from the bottom of hearts liao wad.. alamak..gals to mi r like rubies.. gal that i love is like DIAMONDS like.. i will dote on her. shower her wif all my attention n time.. haha.. pampering r jus like polishing..

i agree that gals shudden be spoil.. but that doest mean to neglect them wad. haha..

i was stunt by my frens response when he knows i got felicia chins contact.. wahhaha

im now blur la.. dunno wad to do leh.. shud i tell the gal i like her? i seriously duno. as i fail 8 out of 10.. i reali got no more confidence to confess le.. untill im reali reali sure.. all frens encourage mi to say.. but can they understand my situation? hais.

i rather protect her in the dark n see her spending her veryday safe n sound. n ofcus happily. pple say being love is much moer fortunate than giving love. so i wan her to hv the fortunate.

wad best for her is best for mi.. haha.

im stil waitng the right tiime to say to her" i love u"

hope it wun too late

it doesnt matter!!

i tink it reali doesnt matter to mi anyhow for spending alone w/o a gf? haha... recently i read a frens blog saying abt men. haha.. tats was a funny one.. n its onli 50% true la. im a man myself . lol.. im nt biased or wad la.. jus tat not all guys r liddat lor.. its jus the matter of time and fate for male n female to reali find one rite one for them to hug to cling to stick to each other for long long long time la..so both sexes reali try hard to find their MR n MRS right to spend their life wif.. gals can say tat the encounter jerks.. wad shud we guys tat face the same situation called women? both guys n gals encounter will be almost the same.. some reali got their good gf n bf.. so we will ask.. "when will be our turn?" i will ask this silly question myself,, all i can do is wait n wait.. actuali.. i miss out a chance last time that i reeali regretted it.. but wads the use.. that was my secondary sch time thou.. haha.. recently., the memories for that time run into my mind out of the blue.. i even dreamt of it.. it was sweet thou.. but that can onli be appear in dreams.. in fact .. in reality.. im still a single guy whom nobdy wans.. haha.. casualty of reality. haha

no blames la.. haa. one way love is so miserable la.. hope the gal im tinking now will be happy.. haha

why?

my blog is rotting alrdy la.. haha.. so long nv update.. anyway, there will be no one visiting it oso la.. im so so damn busy this few weeks lor.. hais.. n i oso dunno wad to update in here. no mood for all this thing leh.. got this fren of mine suddenly confessed to mi n say that she llikes mi since sec school. i was like huH? wTH!! after so long den u tell mi? but i wasnt happy when i heard tat.. i was so stress abt it can.. i reali dunno wad to tell her la.. i dun like to hurt pple esp gals lor.. i rather im the one get hurt wch oways happen. haha.. i say " wah lao.. this time die liao la.." haha.. n out of the blue she reali take mi as her bf.. n ask mi go fetch her n stuff.. n go see her parents?? i was like WTF.. the 1st converstion on fone we had aft 4 yrs u act like tt.. it was damn scary la.. i wanna to test out but.. i reali cant accpet as her character n other things real clash wif mi .. i dun wanna gif her fasle hope. i reali dunno wad to say to her.. i was struggling la.. at that moment of time till now.. n even b4 that conversation.. someone had stolen my heart.. but the sad thing is she dun even knows la.. even she knows.. i tink the outcome is i dun get her.. i oways gif out sth wch i dun get back any return.. i mean as in like the person i like or love doesnt knows it or even dun even apprecaite it.. wad i get is nth i dun wan .. wad a f u life can.. tink last time i had did sth wrong to a gal ba.. she was like so gd n good character. i dunno wad was i tinking at the point of time n age.. mayb i was young.. i now regretted it.. i wanted the gal to know.. that time i didnt bluff u.. and that time i reali do like u.. but everything is too late now .. hope things will turn out the best for u n for mi..