title: rotting.. spoiling... dying..

im dying.. rotting la.. my blog is rotting wif mi... wahahaha...anyway.. im still waiting patiently for the right one to bump into mi.. or i shall put it that way. im searching for the dream gal of mine? aiyo.. im confuse now la.. i dunno wad im facing now oso... waitng or searching i oso dunno.. actuali im tired alrdy.. gals wif mi are nv serious la.. im reali tried... when can i gt a gal i like n can last ? when??

slowly losing faith alrdy....

sch is fun .. i rather go sch den stay at home now.. 2nd week of sch is still fun.. but there is assignment liao.. lol .. hope everything will be fun

TITLE: im back for FOC!!!


woOT!! FOC was damn fun n high lA!!!!! kinda miss it now. lol... hmms.. all the pple in thier was fun . i knew quite a few new frens in tne camp la.. i felt so reluctant to go hme on the last day man.. im joining it nxt yr again .. 100%
actuali.. hais.. home was jus another misery place for mi la.. so bored n so nosiy.. full of my mums nagginn scolding.. very sian one leh.. despressing la... i rather go camp n stay lor.. n i miss MAHJONG!!! wahahahah

i dunno why i suddenly tink back of the past eh..im still lingering in the past.. WHY!? im reali tying to get it over.. im trying to kip myself busy alrdy... i un wan stay in the past anymore,,, tinking of it.. it was so fustrating again.. alamak.. actuali i jus nid a understanding gf.. tts all i ask for.. is it too difficult? haha.. i got one gal-fren hu say that love is troublesome n are for losers.. guys sucks n nvr kip their promises... i oso think the same way as her... but im refering to gals.. actuali overall.. is we had nt MIT out miss n MR RIGHT... the time isnt rite yet... dun gif up jus liidat lor... actuali nth last forever in this world i can say. so jus fuck it.. lol.. sumtimes u giv in 101% into a relationship.. u may nt get back as much,. so why mus we ??? i seriously dun understand.... i recently rea a love novel wch my frej say its nice.. yup.. its NICE.. but i wonder can real life be wad is happening in the book? the book is jus fiction n words describing!!! wads happing inside was so sweet n nice... hope i can bring wads inside the book to the real world la.. haha.. i mus be dat dreaming.. lol... i wana to tell my that gal-fren.. dun becus a few stupid guys n tink that way.. love isnt for losers is for pple hu know how to appreciate n tastes it.. nt like those stupid pple hu spoil it? understand? hop u get a chance to read my blog ba.. open ur eyes big big lor.. dun us use ur ears la.. haha.. love can be wonderul.. HEHEE

*love*fate*trust*faith*cherish* is almost all the ingredients for a wonderful love

title: is this ?

is this my fate? why i cant owaYS get wad i wish for.. n wad i wanted.. hais. im confused im puzzled .. shud i continue.. ? she knows how i feel towards her.. and why sud this be the situation im facing now leh.. so fan la.. hahaa.. i cant even pass my exam.. thou i onli fail one.. i feel that im a failure liao leh.. i felt sad for both of my frens lor.. both become very EMO bcus of thier love ones... the world is changing la.. now gals r diff from the past n guys r diff from the past too..

hope my frens can get over it!!!!

title: today is the day!!!


i hv tink n struggle so long and finally made up my mind to make it today.. i hv lots of things to do for today.. its my sister wedding today.. sort of the offical one.. wahahaha... n other thing wch onli concerns mi i hv to clear.. make it or daunt it.. its all up to today.. i seriously dunno wad will be the outcome like. ofcus i hope it will be smooth lorx.. den i will be happy like hell. if fail.. hohohoho.. god bless mi den..

i dunno seh.. sth like got hope.. den sth like got nuts at all.. alamak la.. why leh? is this reeali that hard? i dun get it at all man.. the truth is i got no confidence la.. this is oways happening to mi la.. how can i overcome this? setbacks reali does affect mi much from the past .. i wanna get out of this .. anyone will be able to hlp mi? like one of my buddies. he loves a gal lots.. n he sacrifices alots for this gal.. in the end .. he got nth out of it.. ya i know.. there is no sacrifices in love. but i totally feel sorry n unworth for him.. till now he still cant get over it.. im wondering whats gal n hows gals are thinking nowadays. r they out to play or wad.. perhaps nt all gals r liddat.. pls show mi some hu r not !!!!!

title: can i?

i tinking im falling into it again.. true i say i wun... but i stil cant control myself . but i tink tis is only a one sided thing la.. im nt sure hows the oppssite is tinking.. now i onli can goon step by step lor.. ytd jus wnet out wif her.. the 1st time la.. din do much ting lor.. jus walk around n play pool lor.. had fun la.. thats for mi.. but i dunno did she hv fun.i jus know that she is very tired.. haha.. now my sis is married,. left onl mi n my bros.. getting one pple less.. hmms.. kinda bored.. i duno i can get on wif it ( get into a relationship). overall is a one sided thing.. aft so some set backs, im losing myslf away. reali i swear.. i nid sum1 to pull mi back!!! im waiting..


to: KELLY ( DOnalD) cum (piGGY)

haha.. i know u wun read my blog one.. so.. nvm.. jus a write for u luh k.. i can see that u r tired la ..thanx for accompanying mi lor.. sriously thanx alot ah.. den .. hope u hv fun uh..hmms.. tats all.. try to get more slp n EXCERISE MORE!!! hahaha

title: haning in the mid air

GOSH!!!!! AM i Doing experiencin it again? not again ba? omg la.. cannot leh.. i dun wan !!!!! i dun wan to be stuck leh.. how sia!!!! can sum1 tell mi ornt? hmms... its oways like tat .. later i misunderstand den gao lat man. but the reaction she gif, the words she say, the feel she gif mi.. all n all.. i seriously dunno.
i got the ugre everday to msg her.. tok to her.. but in the i control myself.. haha..
i knew tis is impossble to be happening la.. mi n her oso impossible de lor..
now i oso dunno wad i want lor.. i seriously dunno .. im still thinking is this something to go for.. or it is jus another poisonous temptation? haha.. frm the appearance, dun look like la.. but within it. keke.. i dunno lor..
i tink i shall wait n see how ba...

title: wads more?

wah piang.. lose money in blackjack.. sian leh
500 plus leh.. all my plans was spoiled la.. sian la.. hmms.. has been drinking n drinking lor.. reali lah,. turning into a nitelife person liao la.. slp in the day.. go out in the evening till next day. haha.. omg can .. lol.. like tht spend alot of money oso leh.. struggling wif my feeling leh.. very confuse la. hais.. hving low morale now le.. my surrounding is changing liao.. people i fac, places i go, things i face, i seriously dunno wad i want now, wad i want to do.. i spend my time aimlessly.. can sum1 save mi? i did sumtiing in the past .. i kind of neglect my brothers when i hv gf.. IM SORRY BROS!!! when i dwn.. thanx to them... reali.. i tink i WUN do it agian la.. i SUMPA man.. lol.. but dunno why ah.. sum pple lose money outside ah... come bros hus n win their money to cover his debt .. wtf is it.. i seriouslu cant tahan this kinda pple man.. eat shit la ..

title:slowly becoming a nitelife person

hmms.. ytd went to drink again.. tis kinda nitelife was a paradise.. ever since the brkup.. i was gradualli changing.. hmms.. i kinda enjoy it la.. go clubbing n drink wif my bros.. den at times go jio gals n dance lol,.. nt bad la.. overall haha.. thou i spend alot of money . haha..

bo bian la.. i wan faster get my license man,, if not oways on cab.. very chor bei la.. hhaha..

tis friday n sat goin club mayb.. COME ON MOS N DXO!!!!!

Title: i was so drunk

haha.. ytd went DXO to club.. hmms.. was celebrating a frens bdae jus know on that day de la..
lol... hmms.. ytd was so high n happening la.. so long nv liddat liao.. now i jus my life is changing n im changing..

so sian.. ytd was drunk la.. haha.. nvm.. frens bdae ma.. hmms.. drink my heaRT oUT.. but Dxo was damn hot la.. n more guys den gals.. LOL..

wanna jio gal oso cannot.. sian.. lol.. nvm.. there is oways nxt time.. hehe...

title: hhmmms..

spend valentines day alone.. haha.. studying for last paper.. hope i can pass wor.. i did other thing oso. i did my confession to sum1.. haha.. i last time din reali had the chance to tell her.. so on this day.. i made it.. i dun wan to live my life in regrets . haha.. alot of regrets ah.. haha.. no choice la.. i dunno reali how to express myself de lah even if i reali love sumting... tats my bad point ba.. lose out in it..

im going to makeover myself le lor.. haha.. shaving my hair aft chinese new year.. nt totaly bald ah.. jus change lor.. see myself till sian liao.. haha .. tm,l end paper liao.. havoc ah. now i jus pray i can live happily.. n everyting run smoothly wif mi.. be wif 1 one i luv n last last last.. hais...

i going to chiong gym man... work out my body ... i wan to BE FIT!!!!
a new mi is on the way....

title: YAY

finally.. i see some reults man.. i got abit bigger aft going gym.. nt wasted la.. i will continue man..

oMG la.. i jus let it all out le leh.. haiyo.. why mus she ask mi leh.. shudden had tell.. say le oso no diff... wait lor. bo bian. let it out mayb better ba.
so sian lo.. nth to do.. back to my normal life liao.. now got money le la.. can spend.. dun nid worry lor.. haha..
jus came here to write.. tata

title: finaLLY,


YAY!!! finally everythng is out of my mind lor.. now wanna hv a NEW LIVE NEW GOAL NEW TARGET.. since thats wad has happen.. den learn to live wif it lor.. haha.. no choice.. hmms.. i wun hate her or wad la.. i wan to thank her lor.. i hv learn alot seriously for the past four mths.. im sad in the beginning cus this relationship reali bring mi happy times.. but now.. i had let it go.. im a guy man.. cannot be so girly la.. seriously.. tinking that. im abit stupid lot.. no point turning back ma.. for wad sia.. there is stil future.. haha..im 19 liao.. mus know how to tink . hmms.. i relai get it tru liao man.. hoho.. happy for mi everyone? haha.. hmms. at 1st i look at those pics i took wif her, i will cry n sad, but now.. haha.. i will smile.. dunno why.. hmm.. sad oso no point la .. seriously..

title: end...

no matter wad i wish for now, there is no use liao.. hais.. wadever is love? i reali dunno.. i reali did my best to save this relationship.. but all i hear is no NO NO!! i oways tot that my gf is the onli thing, onli morale support i can get, the onli soul i can rely on when im facing all sorts of trouble, yes.. i did put my fustration on u.. yes, my attitude is bad, but i didnt do it on purpose, i treat u as my close one, tats why i behave this way... if cant possible vent it on anyone. cus i treat u as my love one. but why use this as an reason to brkup. is there reali no things to let u stay.. i love ur everythng , i didnt change to suit the love she is gifing mi, i jus hope she will be happy wif mi , tats all.. i dont change simply for anyone..everybody will change., its onli the matter of time. b4 i do anything, i will tink of her 1st.. is it wrong to treat her this way? m i? my september fairytale finally ended., i seriously i tot it can last, cus i love her wif all i had, witout leaving her behind, she jus tink of the bads, why cant she use the goods to cover it up and perserve abit more to let mi have the time to slowly prove to her she reali mean alot to mi. i reali have my peace of mind when she say she wum n nv tink of brking wif mi.. is it all lie? all saying it when we r in the sweetest moment,? i mean everyting i say to her, i reali do.
tinking bad, i was very very happy when she agreed tobe my gal. i was hoping up n dwn , reasing my frens.. now is the totally opposite, perhaps im reeali in wrong to treat her tis way i hv stayed up 5 nites, 2 nites playing mahjong wif my frens, i cant slp, i saw her when i close my eyes,, my heart has lost its place, my soul has lose its way, i tink tis may last quite awhile, if she is reali that misery being wif mi, i wil let her go, to let her have the best of wad she want, i jus want her to be happy, even this has happen.i still love her. reali i do ..
wad i can do is living wif regrets... with the tears she sehd for mi lingering in my heart

to ; han
i hv learn to watch u in the far, miss u bit by bit . lesser each day
i hope u have ur best life in the future
thanx for letting mi hv a sweet memory
i will always rmb that..

im back finally aft so so so long.. i tink i got depression leh. feeling sad . oso duno why? im worry my gf might go 1 day. we have been tgt for 4mths +. we have our hppy times and sad times oso..n ofucs. mos of all is happy times.. but recently.. i feel sth is changing leh.. she had change? i duno leh. hais. so sian abt it. so stress oso.. duuno wad to do.. can anyone tell mi?

i jus to be like b4.. our september times....

title: why? AM ITHAT BAD?



dunno wad to say.. its quite disheartening n sad to hear that a parent actuali dislike mi so much... am i reali that loathsome? unpleasin to the eyes? why does he has so many bias against mi? ya.. i agree that i might be handsome.. but that doesnt counts all rite? no noe knows wad will happen in the future de ma,,, i dun wan my dear to quarell wif him over mi. that makes mi feel very sad u know.
this is the 1st of all times i heard a parent dislikes mi so much.. but he onli did see mi once .. n the period of time isnt long,, din even talk to mi b4,, he doesnt know mi well or shud jus dun even know mi.. hais.. im jus sad that the imrpession i gave
wasnt that well ba.. hais..

sudenly i felt that im worthless... so many bad points abt mi? im reali that bad? why doesnt any1 tell mi? but overall i still love yun han , my dear.. no matter wad.
i jus dun wan her to be sad n cry...

title: YAY!!! finally our two month... but




hmmms.. time reali flies ah.. mi n my dar reaching two months le... one day more.. haha.. cant tink of it ah.. had been miting her everyday 24-7 leh.. haha.. cant figure out why eh.. i will miss her even for a sec.. close my eyes see her face liao... hais.. but too bad la.. i got driving test tml n she got her netball camp.. cant cele tgt liao.. but i tink that she will know wad m i tinking . actuali.. celebration is jus a form of showing.. but we all know. its jus impt that we still hv each other in our heart// loving each other.. thats enuff le.. for example.. spending wif ur love one happily... everyday is a valentines day.. m i not rite.. haha...
camp camp camp... 1st of all is OBS.. 5days.. now ehr scool netball camp.. luckily onli 3 days. if not i will die n will start complaining to her fren wenting again.. haha...
i jus love her la.. cant help it..lol... hmms... i hope this love of ours will last lors.. i cant say everlast... but .. jus carry on ba,. i dunno can pass my driving test ornt man.. hais,, nv study,, lol.. okie la wish mi luck ba

title: /?/?/?/

my dear is back.. n ofcus im happy.. dunno why i feel sth amiss . hais..
why am i feeling this way? my heart aches.. dunno for wad reason... n i feel lke crying.. i dunno how to describe how i feel? is it i tink too much le or wad?i reali dunno.. im reali stressed up alrdy.. wads is happenng to MI? tears now filled my eyes .. but i refuse to let it drop.. is it becus of my dear? or wad? i reali got no idea..
my family had probs alrdy.. im all confuse..

can someone let mi know the answer? due to overwhelming reponses.. i nid to carry on.. haha.. =p

Title: fiNallY... FriDAy is here


HAha... the day im waiting for has finally arrive.. wch is FFRIDAY.. the day wch my dear is coming back frm camp man... everyday till today.. i was praying for the time to tick faster.. so that i can meet my dear asap... finally ya.. can say that i reali miss her .. even im hving flu n fever... she is still on my mind .. haha... dunno that she got misses mi ornt leh? haha... perhaps she hving fun in the camp bah? but tuesday she did ring mi up... i was surprise n Happy.. at least i can hear her voice.. can cure my love sick abit bah.. haha..
though now im still sick... im gonna fetch her frm sch. im dying to see her...
i reali love my dear alot ...

hais... now starting to stress again leh.. now going to no more money liao.. hais... luckily i had clear my debts ah.. if nt i will die in the worst kind of ways man... thanx to my dear ... i managed to clear my debts ba.. w/o knowing her or hving her by my side.. i will still be gambling n smoking ba.. haha...
sch work oso stress... i know nuts abt OOP man... mext will be NF.. the rest still okie ba.. how how how?
my 2nd month wif my dear is comingsoon le... 11 more days.. but both of us is busy ah.. i got driving test. she got camp.. hais... she gonna leave mi for a few days again.. hai.. why leh?
i reali miss the times wif her though.. how i wish im in sec sch now leh.. at least got hols .. den can spend more time wif her... hais,. too bad la.. born in the wrong year,, haha.. wonder why she n i can mit up everyday leh? puzzled!!! tink she had bcome part of my daily routine n part of my life le ba.. sth wch i cant short of in this period of time... no one knows wad will happen in the future or i can say in few months time.. but i will cherish every moment n every single sec wif her lors... the chemistry bonding is strong ba perhaps.. for now.. i jus hope that afternoon quicky arrive n now im preparing to receive her msg abt wad time she will be arriving... i will fly like a rocket to mit her .. haha..
tats all ba..

shud i stop?? i dunno leh. pple starting to question mi liao!! aiyo

title: 2 more days to go....


hais.. misses her so badly can.. cant even hv a gd slp lor.. now im sick le la.. cough like wad shit.. hais...

now i onli can do things alone alrdy... has been going to the places she n i oways go.. like champion... MOS burger.. taking bus 55.. her sch the busstop.. im jus leting my brain recapping the memories being wif her.. so that i wun miss her so much.. but like no help eh... wah.... lao tian ah... bring her back to mi asap can.. aiyo.. reali dying le la..

2 more days.. n she will be back... gogogogo!!!!

title: this is how i feel now... OMg


frm sept 21 onwards till now... haha.. i hv been wif my gf till now.. hmms.. abt a month plus le bah.. since den..we had oways mit up wach other w/o fail... i miss her so much now .. she had went to 5 days OBS camp.. now i cant mit up wif her for 5 days after being wif her everyday.. how can i survive.. perhaps down ther she is hving fun ba.. as CAT HIGH was ther... hmms.. so man guys wor.. haha.. but i can say that dwn here.. im missing her BADLY.. wonder how to spend my 5 days w/o her ya.. hmms.. hope my dar is alrite ba.. as she is nt feeling well when she go to camp.. hais...
reali misses her..