todays class can classified as zombified!



for some reasons. i felt threaten? (from unknown sources) perhaps im just too bored in class and started thinking too much!


anw. results for COmmon test are out guess what. miracle happen! my jaws drop.

ECAD: C+ ( ytd result)
due to remarking of the paper due to mamy failures in the school. guess what. i jump up one more grade to B. and my paper has some error in making too, cuz my ans make sense ! added 2 marks. it becomes B+... ^^

DOA:B+( im quite stun too!)
my cute lect told me.. since you are not convince. i will send ur work for remarking! haha. i stopped him ofcuz.,. i just so stun. i just did like 2.5 questions out of 4 i guess.. haa. this is what i get? corruption la dey! lol. or i can say .. qns 4 i did 1/4 of it.?? was that given mark too. nevertheless! im happy.. what i can for my brilliant work in common test!

ECONOMICs: A(rumoured)
B(IMO)

Econs is my most confident mod in this sem . I hoping i can get A but.. ya.. if corruptions existed like what i mention above. haha. i might get it, if it comes from my capabaility, i think the most is a B+?
seriously speaking. i didnt pin too much hope in doing well in exams. you gave me the motivation to do so. (you know who) haha! but ya. i hope i didnt dissapoint you. my turn is over.. Now it is your turn to do well in your upcoming exams.. okay! you can do it .! *kisses*

tml will be my final judgement. last paper will be given out tml!
*prays*

so long ago
i didn't have a care about me
i didn't know my right from wrongbut now i know
that you left got love around me
you know it makes me feel so strong
baby if you turn around
and prove to me its real
maybe we can work it out
cos this is how i feel
do you know where you go when you give it all away
i'll be there for you, care for you
love you everyday oh baby
and do you feel the same for me?
everyday you're away
and i feel a little low
i would cry for you, die for you
just to let you know oh baby
and if you come to me you know i'll makeit right
through out all my life
i never thought i'd have somebody
someone to call my own
and now i've founda little bit of heaven baby
a place to call my own
and if you come to me you know i'll make it right



我突然好想用华文来写这编部落格. 但我不知要从何写起!
我的出现让你感到快乐吗？或许你已开始后悔？会吗？
我开始怀疑自己，信心开始动摇。
最重要的是. 你不要把我放弃. 没有你，我什么都不是

knock into my senses




seriously, i dont know what should i blog about recently as there are many things up in my mind.

each time i log into my account, i will think of what to blog 1st and stare at my comp for awhile
then i log out again. this happen a few times. Really many things and questions i have been asking myself lately.

i start to find out that my life or i should put it as social circle is so small . and the things i can do is so limited. i dont know. i really dont know.

perhaps is my own problem. i stick to my own way, my old self. i found out im really stubborn, whatever i want means i must get it.
i realise i have been drinking the same flavour of bubble for that more than 5 years. (blue coral) and the way i use the interact with others. and so many other things.
mayb recently i have change abit. i can feel that. but im still wondering whter that change is a good one or a bad one. must i subjected to changes? i dont know that too.

i really want to drink. drink the hell out of me, n forget myself , everything just for the moment when im drunk. i will be happy. there is really too many things in my head that i cant get out.

i cant find pple to drink with. drinking alone is way too boring. anyone can help?

i just want to have all the fun i can get . but this dont seem to be happening.

life still has to move on. happy or sad.








my school life started again.
out of the sudden, i felt that im missing alot of things.
missing out, missing some stuff, people and time
i start to recall my primary and secondary me and time.

the lifestlye i used to have
the things i love to do
the fun i use to have
the love i use to give and recieve
the commitment i use to give
the companion i use to enjoy
the confidence i use to own

everything i mentioned above are now all gone , vanish.
all of that might not be found again.
why things change so drastically
everything in a flash of time, VOOM! all gone

i missed the sport i use play. SOFTBALL
i suddenly miss the training , the play the call the bases the run.
most importantly the feel of the game.

i regret not commiting myself . i rather slack and waste time on some wasteful thing
i was wrong. its too late now.


i miss love too. missing too much. i cant describe it any further. just that ya. im missing love
im losing directions.
im starting to miss alot of things.
i start to realise there are alot of things around me waiting for me to discover
rather than doing the same old thing every week.
im lazy to seek to find to look.
perhaps i will do nth too. on my 21st bdae wich is 4 mths time

hey yo everyone out there.



attention!!!!


IF anyone LOOKING for JOB,

YOU can EMAIL to ur_the_one88@hotmail.com for more details.


Thank you!!

one&alone


lifes so boring
im just like the dead out cigaratte in the picture.
one and alone with others of not its kind.

it is so tiring to fight the problems alone. it is really exhausting.
soon my flame will be dead like the cig butt above.

seen through alot of things recently and found out that whats keeping life moving on.
when everything seems grey and complicated.
a puff may blown some of the headaches away but how long can it last . 1 0r 2 secs ?
and after that you will face all the same music again.. how can ones life move with such misery .
not a single melody is being played. but unwanted noise is the one sounding all the time.
how i wish i can be immune to such things but i seriously cant.
can i find a companion? how long will it takes?
GOD KNOWS

Drink.Drank.Drunk.Halloween





What waste that i never took any pictures in the club. So many people with costumes like Dracula, Skeleton ,Pumpkins and many more. This is one of the few times that i attend halloween parties . I remember the other time was at a club in Hong kong, the atmosphere was quite different from here. so ya. a different experinece . but with the same result. i drank alot alot untill haha.

This thime around all the drinks are free. so i keep drinking and drink and drink. there were this two lovely ladies approached me to drink . At first i thought they were the staff working at the culb as they were wearing the same costumes. Had a short convesation i realise they were costumers too.. hah what a joke man. ! they were spower drinks i can tell u .. Almost got knock out by them . but fortunately. i manage to survive.

a night of fun it was!

Choosing between darkness and wonder!




i saw one of my friens' blog post.. her emo-ness can match up mine. but ya. this isnt a good thing. but ya. i can see that she seems to be enlighten by some of her friends words. This is a good thing i believe. at least she still got her friends around her to support her. Ever since i know her, i know that she is an emo kid la. and i have been chasing her blog too. so ya i din miss anything that is happening .

so i got so idea of this.. when being emo. is like being in the dark. everything seems so dull. whatever in life seems to be nth.. empty.

this is the difference when u r emo and happy. Wonder ! u can choose the direction of life u wanna be .. like the pic above.


regarding to someone asking me who i like? hmm . this is what ----->

is it that impt to know who i like? i see no reason revealing this as i already mention that if that person know, everything we are now will change. so ya. i rather keep it the same as normal. liking a girl secretly is a fun thing. hahahah
( follow up from previous entry) =)

男人ktv


前奏才刚刚响起
就有人哭红了眼睛
唱着他们的订情曲
对不起提了你的伤心过去
一堆男人下了班不回去
十几个人坐在ktv
唱着青春随风远去的回忆
说这年头还有什麽让我们动心
男人歌唱给谁来听
下一首有没有你心情
我和你吻别在无人的街张学友唱出我的情结
男人歌唱给谁来听
下一首有没有你心情
你的背包让我走的好缓慢
陈弈迅那首歌是唱的他自己
男人歌唱给谁来听下
一首有没有你心情
我和你吻别在无人的街张学友唱出我的情结
男人歌唱给谁来听下一首有没有你心情你的背包让我走的好缓慢
陈弈迅那首歌是唱的他自己
男人歌真的唱的不是不该说的心情

10 signs to show im in love with YOU

10. You are the first thing i think about when i wake up and the last
thing i think about when i fall asleep

9. Just thinking about you when puts the biggest smile on my face and my heart
heart beats faster and faster (like now) =)

8. Every love song u hear , i think of you

7. i re-read all the convos we had over and over again

6. when we are together, i never want the moment to end , i want last forever and
ever

5. Whenever im with you or look at you, nothing esle in the world matters. Im
blind to everything but you.

4. I am on cloud nine jsut the way you smell

3. Just by hearing your voice, i get rainbows and cant help but smile.

2. i miss u even before you leave.

1. i would do anything in the world for you since you are the world and everything
to me....

Confession of truth and facts.



After considering for a while. i think i will do an english anf d chinese combo within an entry? so for my friends who read my blog and choose to read either english or chinese. Freedom to choose. just that a little bit of trouble. but thats fine! im so free and hv really nth better to do .

now i think this entry will be a quite a long one with some thickness of content to write.
.
.
.
.
how i wish im in a la la land or fantasy land . w/o worry . w/o emotion so that i wont fall in love and hv the after effects of breaking up , loneliness for a some time then blah blah blah! and other than falling in love. i wont hv any misery cause by other stuff.. i wonder how will that kind of world be like? hmmm???

its has been almost 3 years being single.. different pple will hv different thoughts of being single. but for me .. ITS VERY VERY VERY boring. ya i know there is friends. but what wil happen if ur close friends all are attached. who will have the time to bother u? its a fact that al my friends are like damn busy with their own stuff.. no time !!! so i only can rot and rot.. nth much to do. other than that,, hmm.. nobdy to confide to . kinda sad actually. have to suffer alone. im lost in the my blank world. struggling . sometimes pple say ya. single is good, freedom and stuff.. no fighting no nth... is that the way u are thinking? being single there is too much freedom that lead to boredom! fighting the one u love is kind of fun if u look at it on the other angle.. an angle which u wont be able u know when u r in relationship. try to think back. hee. i may sound stupid but ya thats what i felt. trying to find one relationship. but cant. perhaps time isnt ripe yet. or i shall be single for another 10yrs? haha. i hope not .!!!! if not i will bbe bored to death@@

all the long i hv been telling pple lie . ahha. so now i hv a confession to make. when pple ask me who i like or sth. i would deny or ssay no i dont like anyone . i immune to this kind of thing and stuff. but the fact is i do think i like someone . quite some time already. i just hv been trying to run away. not to admit that i actually like someone. cuz i think there will be no result in the end . hmmm. i think im not the guy for her. i dont think she got the chemistry towards me . i know pple will ask me try. but no thnks . i rather like her in this way and mayb carry on not letting her know.. so that we can still be friends.. n hang out sometimes. yea.. there isnt much happening between me her. so ya.. this is one way traffic kind of thing.



真情的告白


好吧！我已用了英文来苏诉说了一些事。那么我现在就长话短说吧。
我觉得做认真得很累，用许多事要去面对。不管是好的坏得都要自己一个人来面对。
所以我觉得单身真得很孤单，想找人诉说心事都难。 又是一对情人吵架，我觉得还蛮有趣的。
这样是另类互动来了解对方的方法。人也不会觉得那么闷。

其实我一直都有喜欢的人，我只是不敢去面对这事实。因为我觉得这段恋情根本不会发生。我陵园暗恋她，好过向她告白，这可能会让她躲避我，那时可就糟糕了。更何况这事我单方面的喜欢。就让它就这样下去吧！

Unpredictable.beyond control.Helpless




there are so many things that humans we ourselves cannot control like death, sudden lost of love ones, love relationship and etc.

how many times can one human suffer from these different kind of blow at one time. can we really withstand this kind of pressure? there is so much to handle that one may collaspe at anytime. One moment of happiness, one moment of saddness, this sudden change is just like taking ROller coaster..

it doesnt help much by letting all out. it really doesnt help as the pain will still remain there no matter what..

i dont cry . i dont show any sign of sadness doesnt mean i dont care at all. doesnt mean i dont feel sad , misery. do u know its worst that i can show anything out. i just wanna be strong and not letting other pple worry. am i wrong ? there are so muchh stuff to tink and plan when this kind of tragedy happen.. lets survive it tgt!!!

Im back !!



it has been 3 mths since i last update my blog. till now im still thinking whther to use chinese or english for my 1st post 3 mths.. but for the majority, i think that use english will be a better choice as some of my dear friends cannot really read chinese.. after all english is still the international language known by most of the pple.

during this 3 mths , alot of things happen.. i dont think i wanna write those sad stuff in here yet.. dont wanna spoil the atmosphere for the 1st post after so long. so ya... for the subsequent posts i will update in either chinese or english. depending on my mood.

some of my friends are in army already.. soon will be almost all my friends. how ???? what can i do? i need not go army.. so i wll be bored to death!! who can help me？ worst is i dont hv alot of girl friend. and those who i know most of them are already attached , had to acc boyfriend, so ya. so i shall not go disturb them for much.. what can i do then? think think think!!!!


my 21st bdae is coming !!! how can i celebrate.. those who read this post pls.. do rmb it k.. 11th of march hor.. present !!!! haha.. rmb i dont recieve any present when im 17 onwards..how sad right. only i give pple !! hais.. dont know why.. still think of how to celebrate... any suggestion?? feel free to tell me leh. i really got no idea of what to do.

im not excited about it anw. cuz there is sth bothering me.. im feeling down recently. why must human hv emotions.. so miserable..

i hv things yet to be fulfil. these things are to be fulfil b4 my 21st bdae.. but 6mths left. how?

我也不知为何？



我已经好久没有来我得簿落格（不知这样写对吗）。最近我也搞不懂我倒地在忙什么.一时间我找不到灵感。我也发现最近的记忆力有点退化。我觉得现在的生活空间十分的狭窄，也毫无乐趣。天啊！我倒地时怎么了？ 老是打不起精神来做一件事。我每天想东想西，就是不懂我再想些什么.
好累！

The same thing i hv done for almost 3yrs!







Everynight ever since oct 2005. i have read the letters u hv written to me . It was so sweet to recall those sec school memories. I dont know how to describe. I felt happy i felt sad.

im not sure whter what is ur impression of me now. but i will wanna tell u that . not everything can be tell from the outside. There might be some misunderstanding but ya. im not that kinda person. perhaps now u hv grown up to be more mature . but i just wanna let u know the letters hv been with me for all this period. i always want to write to u. but where should i start? i seriously dont know! perhaps now writing letters may be out of date. ya. i dont care.

this is what i wanna say all this long . nothing much within it. so ya.

tc. i will keep the letters with me . i will read it everynight. it will at least make me smile.

哀伤。痛苦。悲剧。




我不知该从何开始写起。最近在新加坡以外发生了一些很不幸的事。例如；中国四川大地震和缅甸导致河水泛滥的风灾。这两起惨痛的悲剧已弄得许多人家破人亡，妻离子散。这也让许多年幼的小孩变成孤儿，原本可以开开心心一家乐融融的一起生活，但现在这一切已变成了一个不可实现的一个梦。接下来的日支就要靠他们自己坚强的活下去。

现在我就把上个博客来做个总结吧！我提出那个问题就是为了要让人去思考，去想想看是否那样做是对还是错。我没有权利去改变人的想法或去改善现在已存在的问题。我同意每个人有不同的想法，价值观等等所以我不会说我是对的。这种事根本就很难说是谁对谁错。分手时当然痛，你越爱那个人，你会越痛。但往往爱情的事都不受我们控制，我们只能无条件地去爱，付出我们的全部。有时我们得回的少过我们付出的一半。所以我认为只要有努力过，有开心的回忆就无悔了。我已把我的看法说出来了，也得到别人的评语和个人看法。现在就将一切的事顺其自然吧。__________________________________________________________________________________

人—我们是几等人?


等，是我们日常生活不可缺的一个“活动”。为何我那么说; 请大家仔细想想，在我们的生活里有许多东西都让我们等。例如等电梯，等巴士，排队等着换钱。实际上还有很多让人等待的。“等”已成为我们生活上的一部分，而且还是顺着程序的。从早上开始- 如果你有喝咖啡或是其它的日饮料的话，你就得烧水来泡你所要的热饮来喝。冲了凉换好了衣服，就出门了。有的等巴士，有的等得士。别忘了还有驾车人士呢！他们也得等，但他们等的是交通登。


接下来还有接二连三让我们等得事。上班族的人就得等电梯还有邓拿薪水，哈哈！上学族的也得等电梯。休息时间就等排队买食物。就拿刚生下宝宝的夫妇，他们就地等待他们爱情的结晶漫漫的成长。还没结婚的就等待另一方开口向她求婚。单身人士不顾是男或女方都在等待他们的另一半。有些异想天开的人就在等着发财，等钱从天掉下。这也是一种等。哈哈！


就这样，我们不知不觉地在增加自己等的东西。慢慢变成很多“等级”的人。21世纪的人再也不只有上等或下等了！老人时常会说他们是一等人；“等死”。中年人就是三等人；等钱，等儿女长大，等死！到我们年轻这一代就有很多等.



人真的是其怪，青春期的我们随着年龄的增长，我们要等的东西有很多，但随着年龄的老化，等的东西就越来越少。这也可能使有的已经等到了。



所以“等”已经融入了我们的生活。但既然我们的等那么多，为何有的人还是那枚没有耐性呢？真的是搞不懂！要算出人是几等，我怕很难会有一的固定的答案！

帮助人是发自内心还是为了炫耀和为了面子？

本来我是不想再想起这件事情。但我真的吞不下这口气！搞到要向人借钱的时候，那个人一定是生活上遇到一些困难或者是一时周转不灵才向别人开口的。
我最讨厌那些自以为了不起，而且别人向你借钱时摆出很高傲的样子。比如，我向你借钱， 是我不对，我不该向你借。我是必不得已向你借钱。但你也不可以借了我那笔钱之后就到处跟人说你借我多少钱。我不是怕别人知道，但有着一个必要吗？跟别人说了我可以算了，但你也不可诋毁我和我的家人嘛！你也要向当初我是怎样帮你的，做人可要饮水思源。

我现在向你借得只是五分之一罢了。我真的搞不懂你搞到那么多对你有好处吗？。损人不利己！

你还把我对你说的话加盐加醋。弄到好像我在说谎话。害到我被人责骂。变成我是坏人。你在后面捅了我几刀你心知肚明。如果以后要帮人请你是发自内心的，而不是为了面子，炫耀 自己有钱才会帮人。你这样是害了那个向你借钱的人，不是帮了她。世上就是有这种喜欢搬弄是非的人，在社会害人害己。

我终于把它给发泄出来了。感觉比较舒服一点。哈哈！

讲心还是讲金？



到底是心重要还是金重要？21世纪社会的每个人都把金钱看得很重要，变得非常现实。我在想如果没有钱这个社会会变得怎样？就连原本跟金钱没有挂钩的爱情也变得非常现实。这就是我所要讲的。在新加坡，人人就是把话们在心里。对于有些敏感话题，不敢当面对有关媒体诉说，到后来就会像我这样用博客来表达自己的不满或心声。


如今的爱情观念变了许多。简简单单的爱情变得很复杂，难以捉摸。它也变得越来越贵。爱情不是讲心，讲感觉的吗？为何会把金钱和其他物制品扯上关系呢？难道有钱有车就会幸福吗？或者能断定他对你的爱有多深吗？我个人认为这是不可能的！但我还是不了解为何有些男或女人会想找有钱的，甚至不爱对方也能在一起？我现在不是想一竹竿打翻全船的人。可能是我倒霉还是因为莫种原因，我说遇到的，听到的，亲生体验到的都是那么样。打个比方，有一对情捛在一起3年了。他们中四开始在一起，原本是想单纯的她，随着年龄的增长，她的思想和所要求的东西也慢慢的在改变。不知为何，她跟他分了手。就这样，3年的感情就散了。后来她被发现跟一名有钱，有车，在社会算有一点名气的男性来往。难道金钱有那么重要吗？把3年的感情说散就散，好像捏死一只蚂蚁那么简单。爱情真的能用金钱来衡量吗？

别说3年的感情了，就连结了几十年婚的夫妻都会为了钱把感情闹得很僵，把他们许下的承诺给忘了-（每当感情到了谈婚论嫁的时候，女方总会说嫁鸡随鸡，嫁狗随狗，以后有饭吃饭，有粥喝粥。然后到了教堂，在神父面前宣誓，双方都会说会彼此爱对方，不管发生任何事，都会不离不弃，有福同享有难同当。）为了了钱的问题，他们可以把家搞得鸡犬不宁。钱真的能把这些所谓的真实感情给遮盖了吗？

有时候我也会在地铁车厢或巴士上有人会说谁的女朋友或男朋友为了钱跟人跑了。我相信这种事因该不罕见。钱真的能代表说有的一切吗？难道有钱就会有爱？怪不得老一辈时常说，等你有了钱，你还把没有女人吗？我在想为何现代人总事要向钱看呢？

我们就不能把钱看成其次，只要互相拥有对方，再一起开心就行了吗？钱固然重要但它不是爱情或生命的全部。

这是我第一遍用华语写的博客





哇！真的好难，有点不习惯。但是为了达成目标，我只好努力地去适应。
其实我觉得用华语来写博客比较能表达我自己。所以我决定以后用华文来写我的博客。

今天是个浪费时间的一天，我只上了45分钟的课然后就回家了。我说浪费的原因是我花了足足一个多小时的路程到学校，凳子还没坐热的收市书包走人了。气死我了！

在家真的是无聊，一个人面对四面墙。

就在此停笔吧。。。

i want to be your man, i will make u happy!





define that line above pls? Happy? what do u judge happy? u think u have done it. or the other party feels it she is happy? its hard to make one happy. cuz u will nv know what u do will make her happy. thou you tired ur best. she is still not specify.

Can i be freed from emotion and love? i kinda tired to be stuck in this kinda life.
Girls run away. dont truly love you.. and blah blah blah. the worst is, after u did so much. she can still bloodly hell tell u you are not her past! So ya. whats the point ?
this mayb karma . i wanna be immune to this but i cant.
i dont wanna fall into this again. how? now im starting to ! not after 2 yrs! pls!

club at POWER HOUSE!






isnt that bad afterall la. thou alot of adults. but ya. i did spot some young ones , pretty ones, hot ones i guess. hmm should be have ba! anw.. i didnt care that much. cuz my focus is only on one girl.. who is. JOCELYN. haha. i dance with her and drink and smoke, jus cannot imagine that after so long la. nv been out. once out. go clubbing . haa. aint that bad thou. nv take pics la, OMG> all that i took look sucky la. only joce looks nice nia.. eyeeeeeer.

i really enjoyed myself. thou someone left us alone there.. me n joce! arrgh.

Ah beng shaun!

went to meet up with sec school friends. had a heart chat with them. 8 yrs alrdy man.ahaha.

going to zouk tml with them!!

jocelyn and christina

done with my blog le. had fun ba! haha

im seriously sick and it kept me out of school for two days alrdy. wonder how much will i miss out man? hate the weather now . I have not been sick for so long alrdy. now let me sick till gao lat isit? Anw. one day there is a lady. i think is a surveyer asked me this. " what kind of girl will let me stare at her non stop? i replied u alrdy let me looked at u non stop. haa. cuz the surveyer was really damn cute la. ha. then she asked. do u believed love at 1st sight. i replied. yes. now its alrdy happening. aha. then she blushed. haa. ltr i told her to relax im only joking. BUt i do really believe love at 1st sight . aha. thou it has not happen for long. but ya. it is still my believe. lol

strange things are really happening la. aiyo. i had a dream on monday night and sunday night. both i dreamt of a girl that the is most unlikely one. i know her and she knows me. but that girl and me nv once hang out before. only interact while in camp. thats the only period. so ya.i cant find any reason to dream of her. i was kinda surprise. now bishan is gonna rain ,. wth ! sun rise and ltr rain. no wonder i will sick. damn the weather.

damn. Fall sick due to work heat and not enough slp. cannot take it man. tml may be skipping school alrdy . Spoil my perfect record so far. maybe tml i will force my self to go. or maybe go see doc take MC and it wont be affected? haha. still considering my option thou.

SHAUN u enjoy la. go air con place see char bo. NB! wahahha . the sales today was not bad . hmm. so can say its quite worthwhile ba. i do enjoy the working process but. the heat and sun is the main thing i hate. Arrgh. Going out on wed. im looking towards. SHAUN. dont joke with me hor. aha..

ADIOS!

OH.. this week quite happening to me . so far i hv enjoyed very much this week . Haa. Thou is abit tiring. But who cares about that if i enjoyed myself.
so YA. THanks to LILIN HUI KEE HUITING(hui kee's Cousin) SHAUN SEAH.

all my sec school good friends. Went to DBL O and O bar. didnt manage to hook ahy girls as i dont ha ve to mood to. Mayb I hv not been clubbing for a certain time. the music and the lightings are making me dizzy. ahha. sound s weird but its true. LUCKily enough hui kees cousin did dance with me. got SHAUN SEAH get the larger porpotion of time with her and he is so happy about it. im really glad that we can still meet up after so long ya. IT really fun .

YEA.. so now shaun and i make clubbing an activity that shoildnt be miss once a week till his NS enrolment. so ya. I must be very rich every week to go clubbing. Its so funny that i think of teasing my FREn with SLK . truly.. its a expensive car thou. why some girls just like just go towards richness leaving guys aint rich like me aside. doesnt it make sense.? is this love? hui kee. u can go die liao la... ahahaha.. only see GIM but not Xim. LOL.

starting to blend into the new clsmates and the school..
so many new faces in school i saw,

im so tired. still cant adjust my body time clock. i guess i will nv turn it back to normal.
as in dont hv normal sleeping time.

Is April the sad month or what? so many couples breakup cases. thou some may not occured in the month of April but i came to know those break up incident in April. ohman..

Ytd i was arguing with my friend whether Love At First Sight exit in this world. i say "Ya there is". my friend totally disagree and said there is no such thing as that. But i really do believe in that cuz im in that situation now. SO my friend and i debated for quite sometime. and finally came to a conclusion that his Love At First Sight and my Love At First Sight is different. Hmm. Perhaps ya.

Till now i still cannot forget the girl i saw at Orchard Far Eas Plaza..

God! can u arrange a time a venue a date for us to meet again? PLEASE!

WOW... so long nv touch my laptop !!!
I miss my Laptop so much!!


school starts! looking for the days ahead!

finally YR 3

Im going to tune back my memories to 1st JAN 2008

im going to not pretend to know everything. But practically , frankly
erasing eveything. yea. im going to do that. So i can Live HAppier.

so Anything that happen During this few months will be erased completely W/o Fail.

Regardless of PEOPLE, RACE, OR RELIGON. EVENTS, THINGS And ETC, will be completely be gone. I HOPE SO!

BRAND NEW MEMORIES WILL BE INSTALL!

_____________________________________________________________________________


to my dream girl

hey. how can i locate u? regretted nv ask for ur contacts. Saw u thrice at far east. one time that u r so near me . i dont dare to look straight to u. haha.

HOPE WILL BUMP INTO U AGAIN.

u r natural beauty!! haha

this time i dont know how to express myself.

all i know is Im missing someone

the feeling isnt good to have.

Im so sad to know the person you like wasnt me.

but its alright. i will still do my part to comfort you whenever you are feeling sad.

its so uncommon to see me falling into this kind of situation again.

this kind of feeling sucks , worst than not having a girlfriend.

Now im planning to change my principle of life.

Doing something that i dont really aprrove on .

I had already tried it out once recently.

feels great thou. no string Attached relationship

More of a fling kind of thing.

What about one night stand?

sooner or later, this will come in as a form of habit soon.

This wont bring any pain i guess to me or to other party.

as this doesnt consist any commitment.

this is just making good use of each other when there is a need?

I fuck care if there is Karma. Im single. I wwant to play.

Im gonna enjoy life now as im alrdy 20. thou thats not an UNCLE age.

but ya. i have been leaving behind peoples shadow.

Waiting for the impossible to be possible.

im not gonna bring misery to myself.

im gonna end this.

i guess it had already start on the 27th march 2008.


AGAIN, someone pls jugde me!

so boring luh



wednesday morning now i am alrdy rotting.
what is life?

let say, what is love? i dont get it. Explain to me please.!

Im always having more downs than UPs in my life.
How come sial.? Anyone can pls tell me.

I dont know what to blog about . Really bored.
What is going on down here .
No love no plans no money.
WAH.. This kinda life how to survive.?

How come other peoples life can be so colourful yet mine is so dull.?
This doesnt suit my theme of my blog !

Perhaps Love

On-je-yot-don-gon-ji / gi-yong na jin ah-na
ja-ku nae mo-ri-ga / no-ro u-ji-rop-don shi-jak
han-du bon-shik / doh-oh-ryu-dun seng-gak
ja-ku nul-o-ga-so / jo-gum dang-hwang-su-ru-un i ma-umpyol-il-I ah-nil su
it-da-go / sa-so-han ma-umi-ra-go
ni-ga ne-ge ja-ku (ne ge ja ku)
ma-rul ha-nun / geh o-saeng-han-gol


sa-rang-in-ga-yo / ku-de nah-wa gat-da-myon shi-jahk-in-ga-yo
ma-mi jah ku gu dael / sa-rang-han-dae-yo
on se-sang-i dud-du-rok / so-ri-chi-ne-yo
wae i-je-ya dul-li-jyoh oooohh…
so-rol man-na-gi we-hyae / i-je-ya sa-rang cha-jat-da-go
ji-gum nae ma-umul / sol-myong-ha-ryoh hae-do
ne-ga nae-ga dwe-o mamul nu kki nun bang bop ppun in de

i-mi nan ni / a-ne / it-nun-gol
ni a-ne / ni-ga it-du shi
u-rin so-ro-we-ge (so ro we ge)i
-mi gil-dul-yo / jin-ji mo-la

Seng-gak-hae-bo-myon (saeng gahk hae boh myuhn)
Manh-un sun-gan-so-ke (so ke)
Ol-ma-na manhun (yeah) sol-le-im it-ot-nun-ji
jo-gum nujun gu man-kum nan do jal-hyae jul-kke-yo

ham-ke hal-ke-yo / chu-wok-i dwel giokman sol-mul-hal-ke-yo
da-shin nae gyote-so / ddo-na-ji ma-yo
jjal-bun sun-gan-jo-cha-do bul-an-han gol-yo
nae-ge mo-mul-lo-jwoyo oooohh…
Gu-dael i-roh-ke ma-nhi (gu to rok ma-nhi)
Sarang-ha-go wi-so-yo (gu dae yo ya mahn) i mi


i like this song very very much. :)

Perhaps love (english)

I don’t know when it all started

When my head became dizzy with thoughts of you

These thoughts would often pop up in my mind

I feel anxious as my heart expands towards you

It’s nothing.. it’s just a little thingY

our words are awkward to me

Is it love? If you feel the same way, is it a beginning?

My heart keeps saying it loves you

It screams out for the whole world to hear

Why has it taken so long for me to hear it~?

We’ve finally met.. finally found love

If I wanted to show you how I feel

The only way would be for you to become me

I’m already inside of you

Just like you’re inside of me

To each other [to each other]

We may already be too accustomed

Is it love? If you feel the same way, is it a beginning?

My heart keeps saying it loves youI

t screams out for the whole world to hearWhy has it taken so long for me to hear it~?

We’ve finally met.. finally found love

When I think about it [when I think about it]

I realize how many moments there were when my heart trembled

I’ll try as harder as I was late in realizing my feelings

I’ll be with you, I’ll only give you fond memories

Please don’t ever leave me again

Even the shortest moments without you make me uneasy

Please stay by me~

I already love you so much (you’re the only one)

All I am, all I'll be
Everything in this world
All that I'll ever need
Is in your eyes
Shining at me
When you smile I can feel
All my passion unfolding
Your hand brushes mine
And a thousand sensationsSeduce me 'cause I
I do cherish you
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will love you still
From the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this much
I do
In my world, before you
I lived outside my emotions
Didn't know where I was going
'Til that day I found you
How you opened my life
To a new paradise
In a world torn by change
Still with all of my heart'
Til my dying da

HUR HUR


deleted the Prev two entries as i think they make no sense luh.
So ya.. i dont think that should those remind here as at that moment of time, i dont know what im talking about...

Ya. Now i wake my senses up . I think ya. I have been stubborn recently. If jason reads this. he will know what im talking about. Jason LEE. AM i right? lol I think i will slack now la. dun be too bother about the stuff Both jason n i are bothering about, jason n i has have the same trouble. nOW i will let it come to me. not i go to them. haha. like that i wont be so tired and irritated.

Nv come then nv come . I used to it. i Actually quite like the times of few months ago or perhaps few weeks ago. no stress no nuts. healthy lifestyle.

now everyting is back to Square One. Treatin everything as per normal.

so long ever since i update..
hmms. nth actuali happen to be mention till my bdae 11th of march.
on my birthdaY, i actually help one of my friends move his house. haa. as i had nth nice or special to do.
as my friend need my help/ i just went down to help. It was not a wasted trip i can say.
It was fun and i stayed at his place. new and old one day each.

get to know two pple. one i wont be mentioning cause im not interested as i dont hv any good impression of the person.. im not going to mention the gender, haha.

the other one hmms.. name s.wing. haha. what a nice to name to have ha. SWING HERE AND SWING THRE like a SWING. lol. no offence if u happen to read my blog.
yea,.. luckily i did went yo help jason to move house. if not i wont get to know u alrdy. M i right? haha.

Something has not happen is now happening. Is it for real? haha. PRAY! Guess what am i talking about ba. aahhhhaa

"A beast in a jungle fall for a beauty from a city"

see that line of sentence before? or hear anyone discussing similar topic? this sentence i got it from a movie. featuring king kong, dinosaurs and people. Forget what is the name of the movie call. but anyway, this king kong was mersmerised by a lady from city. in the king kongs eyes, he can only see her n her beauty. nth esle.

can u imagine an animal or i shall say a beast fall for a human being. haha. actuali the morale of the story is that the lady is so damn beautiful that a beast can fall for her. haha. seriously. im acting like the beast now. haha. Mesmerised by xxxx. how? but the beast died in the end. im surely not going to die. the beast n the lady cant get together of cause , due to size and the form of nature. one is a beast, and one is a human. but for my case, even both me n xxxx is human. we still cant be tgt. haa. this time is due to humans factor.

wondering when i can get a sport car to drive. LEXUS one is so damn nice can. i so into that now. i want to drive.

looking forward to CNY!!!!

cannot imagine she reply my email. haha. i was looking forward to this mail. but didnt really expecting her to reply. cause she is such a busy woman now i guess. overall. im happy!! haa.

haa. this line: " he is the prince charming in the heart and isnt it that the most important?"
this line i will rmb for my life. so ones dun judge pple by looks but character and personalities. ya.. everyone say so. but. im confused!! seriously.

for example. a guy approach a girl. no matter wad.. appearance surely come 1st cus u hv too look at the face wad.. jus got to know each other. cfm dunno each other character one right. so i feel abit contridicting. haha.. mayb this dun apply to owns' bf and gf. haha

but i shall not think too much now.
i will wanna focus my buliding up my body now. i know it will be difficult. but i will try. for the sake of something. haha. that will be my motivation.

i have yet get my clothings for Chinese New Year. DAMn!! no money is such a headache la. how.. save mi!!

clarification here. thank you.
haha.. Hope anyone out there dun get misunderstood that i like DAWN YANG
PLEASE! I DONT!

the " i wanna get close to her" meaning i wanna know her in person. nth else.. ok.

she is a celeb now . if i like her.. seems abit too FAR la.

ok. done with clarification.

back to the main topic:

today is a brain cells killing day. i have spent almost the whole day in school doing my assignment. Luckily. there is help from my friends. if not , haa. my brain is alrdy dead by now.

cant imagine that i will actually stay back in school till late n do. tats so unlike mi la.. haha. nvm . once in a while i wil be good boy.

came to realise something when i came across a few pics. i realise that two or more person may appear in the same area. place. area.country. but u jus cant meet the person. now i know fate does play an important part. it is very very important. if fate was there, i tell u. everything in love will be easy. but that doesnt seems to be happening. im so sad when i came to know that.

i have been to that place. that area. that country more than i visit sentosa. but why when she was there .. i got no chance to see her. ya. i admit that that country is bigger than spore.. but why jus cant god create this little one oppurnity. and why now let mi know that i was actually been to the place she been before and yet cant bump into her.

and yet.. spore is so so small. why cant i bump into her too.. come on! population in here is so small little la can. why why why? i hv millions of why . stop for now. got test to study for

u guys up there jus dun hv the rights to do so, (NO OFFENCE)

long since i have updated... far too long even for me to even know when was my last update.

since i have nth to do now in class. i just hope in blogger.com to at least feed my blog. haa. if not it will be hungry...!
just how nice it will be to stay at home , watching tveE! admiring pictures. how i wish !

its so nice of my lecturer mr redman to cancel the class on this thursday.. ha. at least i hv sth nice to mention in this 1st entry of 2008.. the prev entry i rmb was a terrible sad one.hope there wil not be anymore that kinda stuff anymore in near future.. no! i should say it must not come near me.

i nvr once notice or even bother how dawn yang looks and stuff about her. but recently, i came her across her stuff . most imptly her real person. haha. after so long, and her pics. that was like oh my god. how can i missed out someone who is so so so pretty out there . luckily enough now it is not too late . haa.. now im starting to get engrose about her.. i want to know everything about her n stuff.. But.. but.. im not going to be a stalker. trying to seek means to get close to her. haa.. this might seems to be impossible.. yea. i know. she is a celeb/artise now. how can i know her when im nobody.
i want to be somebody!!! i had email her when i dont even know whther is that her email or wad? jus trying my luck down there. haha.
anyway. im a happy go lucky person.
no commitment involved down there.. haa...
~merci~

cannot imagine that i hv to start my blog after so long with a sad posting. OUR national Dragon Boaters which consist of two of my SEC school teachers had encountered a mishap in cambodia. wad a news to be known. 4 went missing. one died. The one who passed away is my teacher. i was shocked when i was being told.

life is so unpredictable. there are babies being born. given life. there are also people passing away. life being taken away. regardless of young or old. this is life. so much of sadness and happiness. all of them is unpredictable.

*prayers to the national dragon boaters*

because of ur smile, my life become more beautiful. a sentence i saw today on a girls back.. on her shirt. this caught my attention. haa. dunno why. so boring ..

duno wad to blog about.. hmms. this gal i wanna know more.. trying to get closer wif .. hmms. seems successful . nth is blocking mi. haa. but who knows wad futures behold.. still hv yet to ask her out.. hmms.. dunno is it appropriate?haa.

shall see!

unlucky or lucky?





im said to be lucky cus i found you
im said to be unlucky cus i cannot reach you

im so high whenever i tot of the incident. i smile
but i realise. it all can only be dream.
i mus bring back myself to reality. thou u reali exist

how can i satisfy my desire to get close to u..
only in my dreams.
searching for an impossible? i tink most probably yes!

happy yea im happy
sad oh im so sad..
isnt it so vague.?

i wan it tat way!

long long time nv blog alrdy.. lol. duno wad title to put. so jus start straight.
school started for a week alrdy.. nth much happen.. jus like mornal.. but i start to love school..
cus i can see alot of gals.. haha.. still cant find a gf in np.. dunno why. haha... so many gals man..
but i seems to know very few of them.. hais.
how?

title: motivated!!




someone out there give mi the motivation to get my license!!!!!!
i will get it soon!!!!

title: the something i missing in my life now!





the feeling that im lacking.
the feeling that im short of.
the feeling that im missing alot.
the feeling that im oways wishing for.
now.currently.at every moment im still trying hard to seek for the feeling.

the feeling of having a girlfren by my side. haha.. how heavenly it will be wif a girlfren by my side now. it feel so different from being wif frens , family and other people. the kind of feel, the moment which nothing can be replace. i kinda miss it. haha. (die for sure) ---> loneliness and emptiness growing in me! oh no.. AM I GONNA HAVE DEPRESSION? (LOL). days are so liveless, boring,. rotting in front of my TV set and my laptop. ohya. cannot forget my doggie (momo) lol. it has been a yr tat im single. haa.. still canoot mit the gal of my cup of tea? i pray. to whatever god im under or belongs to.i do. for a gal t drop from the sky.. haha.. but from a movie.. i have that god doesnt give u directly for wad u pray for. they create opportunities for u to fight for it. but that problem is .. i dun see any of that coming to mi. haa.. oh god! will i die a single? lol.. im not desperate or wad . im jus venting sth into my blog.
i hv not update for quite sometime too. so ya.
i still believe that she . she she she , one of them is meant for mi.. mayb im still dreaming .. who knows ya.? i got nth to look forwrd everyday. everything seems to be the same once i open my eyes . nth special.. nothing for mi to look frward leh. hais.. jus like plain paper n plain slice of bread. no colour no tatse. actuali got la.. when i sweat lo. SALTY!! haa

done alrdy lo. hais...

we were made for each other.

i hope u know it!

back from HongKong!





finally back from hongkong. been thre for a week ba. the weather was hot ! BUT. overall alrite lo. i hv been to hk for more than a dozen times lo... once got holiday will go ther.. jus like my 2nd home. haha. how nice if im staying there .. haa.. got 4 seasons.. and hk is a shopping paradise. lol



have been thinkng.. ( i hv came across some cute gals in hk) n i saw some cute gals wif some average guys . haha.. when is turn??? hhaaa.. wanted to hv a gf!! haha cant seem to hv one lo.. dunno why ! haha...

hahaha...




gucci belt is on my waist. LOL

new chapter of life for my little niece

ASHLEY!!!!

OMG!!!! my little niece was 50 cm tall and 3.59kg

abit gigantic leh.. for a baby gal.

haha.. her papa mama hvnt tot for her a chinese name. but was called ASHLEY !

i contributed in this name oso hor. haha.. my niece was so cute can.

cannot image at the age of 19 im an uncle.

dun worry.. i wil bring u go clubbing k! haha

welcome ASHLEY!

i have never felt like this before
Everything i do. reminds me of you

this is so damn unlucky.





OMG!!! fine for littering...
200 bUCKS.. for goodness sick.
FUCk the organization..

anw.. it was a bad day .


feeling like to have a gf
but it seems hard to find one
ok, fine, i gave up
shud i jus sit and wait for a gal to drop onto my arms??

thereis this gal i find every nice.
nice in character, personality..
wch will make her a good gf.
haha

but this kinda gal hard to get
and wun be my turn to hv her to be my gf
dream on lor.. haha

haha. finally someting nice to blog about.. instead of all emo stuff. wahahaha











hmms.. two days ago i bump into someone..

a person missing for years (LOL)

ever since primary school, i nv seen her till 2 days ago

a gal i like since p4 till p6? haha.. crush i can say?? dunno la

surprise that i hv seen her.. but.. too bad she cant recognise mi =(

she had turned into a fine . cute lady. wahahah

much cuter than she was younger.. oops..

arrgh...!!! regretted nv approach her la..

memerios start to flash back .. nice ones. sweet!!!


today, i went town to shop n buy handphone.
hmms.. bought an average hp .
if not evrytime lost, heartache.
anw. i like this hp of mine too..
so its doesnt matter la..
can call can msg can mp3..
not that bad la.. haha..
wad esle can i complain.

wow, today my eyes are enjoying alot .
so many cute, pretty, hot chicks.
around town area.
haha... can u imagine that 8 out of 10 is hot chicks.. haha
got korean, caucasian, chinese. haha.. all races..

not a bad day for mi

siansation~~~~





haha.. so long aft i hv played a socccer match
found out that my stamina drop drastically
this is a bad bad sign man..
i wanna get my stamina back
i wanna work
no money
but exam is coming
damn bloody stressful.. haha

no time for fun alrdy...
i wanna get my fitness back no matter wad..
i need a job ..
hu can intro me!!!!

wrong timing la... OMt~ how






so long nv blog alrdy. thou it might be a few days or a week.. but i can feel that my blog is rotting.. so bored n tired.. nth to do.. relectant to go sch.. busy wif assignment..

there is a ooad test tml.. i 2dae den know. haha.. actuali i plan not to go sch tml..
time reali flies la.. my dear canada fren is going back 2nitte..
hvnt reali go out wif her for the past one month.. arrgh
she isnt coming back for the next 3 yrs.. arrgh..
im gonna miss u irene!! nvm.. i will save for ur air ticket..
so u nid not worry abt the tix.. and u can stay at my place.. lol.
3 times the most we hv met for the past one month. sad for mi
nxt trip back.. dun be so busy le can.. spare mi some time la.. haha

now isnt the rite time to fall for someone..
reali the worng timing can..
not the rite timing for mi. as well as for the opposite i tink. haha.
she doesnt know abt it actuali.. but i jus felt that it isnt reali time.
how should i say?? hah.. if i continue saying . it will be damn obvious who the gal is.
anw, everyone is so busy now.. thou busy for mi is still alrite.. cus i will still spare time for her.. but there is still other reasons for not being the rite timing
so sad can.. hmms.. for half a yr im sinlge and not fall for anyone ..
but why now.. its okie actuali.. b4 being single for 6 months.. i hv stay single for 3 yrs aft my sec
so wads the big deal? haa.. its reali big!!! LOL
i dun wanna let this chance miss.. but how.. this isnt the rite timing..
n the gal doesnt know.. arrgh.. god is playing mi la.. aiyo.

can someone tell mi wad shoud i do?

brighter???






so bored.. nowadays singapore kips rainning.. n singapore is so so so f*** small..
got no wher nice to go.. oways go the same place. boredom..

now i suddenly got the feeling to hv a gf.. but im too lazy to love...
oh man.. contridicting myself.. haha
jus cant find the gal my cup of tea
even if i find.. the gal oso dun like mi
sometimes.. this kinda things bored mi
so it makes mi so lazy now
lazy to love free to play kinda attitude grows in me
haha..
when can i find a gal that electrify mi ..

the swim nite.. FUN!!!

times when we were deep in thoughts

the teens living in the shadow of darkness.

the night we had a tough climb.. woW!!!!

woo. thos pics was taken during our brothers gathering at town and my hus .. but not all my buddies turn up.. wch was a sad thing.. haha.. pics taking was fun .. im planning to get a camera soon man.. haha..

whats the use of stressing over rubbish now? haha.. i can have all the fun i want.. lol.. i dun tink i will be emo again alrdy. wif so many activites wif my bROs.. ORchard 5.. CHEERS!! haha..

it was reali fun.. i reali enjoyed it alot ..

tink will have fun once a week . haha

shiok sial.. haha..

i can live on my own .. in the world of fun n laughter.s

taking things into my stride..

trying not to think so much.

trying to be positive in everything..

there is hope . the is will..

moving wif the nature of course.

haha.. see where the timeline can leads mi to and how far will i be..

lol..

truly... i learn sth today







now i know.. haa.. being nice is a dumb n stupid way to live on this fucking world
so from now onwards.. i know how should i treat people.. actuali this depends on situation..

now got any lobang or wadeva .. like benefits.. i should either kip it myself.. or share it wif pple who are worth it.. now i wun treat everyone as my close frens.. i tink .. this shud stop ah. no point la seriously.. all of them treat u like grass.. step here n there.. i stil this shud stop.. no more sharing is caring.. woooo!!!

in this society , wif those kind n my kind of pple living n walking around. should learn to be smart.. tink of urself first .. instead of placing pple in front of u.. this is wad i should do long ago.. hope now is not too late...
when it comes to money.. haha.. reali man.. duno wad the fuck is gonna on.. everything is like money is more impt.. haha.. so nxt time.. dun lend pple money.. dun borrow pple oso.. the most impt thing.. dun gamble.. mahjong can still play abit.. haha....

i now should watch my steps..open eyes big big.. last time m not calculative. act blur . now.. sorry.. i will become very calculative.. the level of calculativeness depends on who is the person..

now got money spend myself.. n clear my debt.. any extra can buy cig.. its onli for mi n onli for those hu hv shared nv mi.. i can reject pple anytime i want.. so dun blame mi..
the surrounding n the pple around mi made mi to become like this..

in the case of cig... if i offer. den take.. if not.. please fuck off understand...

i think.....




i felt sth different... something about me is differrent..
i felt like im a fool..
but now... i tink i slowly changing.
my perspectives on some stuff have changed..
im still wondering should i still remain my prinicple or not..

its like no point holding onto my pricnciple anymore.. as i get nth gd in return.
so i tink i should jus fuck it ...
i tink this tis a way i can live happier... ignoring the things n gals around me..
im really sick n tired about them ...
come on.. give me some peace... !!!

i had enough of all those craps and nonseses thru all these years..
i tink now i hv to spend more time on the assignment .. which i tink is more impt than anything esle now..
fuck everyting esle except school work.. hoho..

humans... evoling into a stage .....






dissapointing.... (shake head)
tink nowadys humans are reali stupid
turning into a over sensitive creature.
dunno why..
this is reali bad omen..
humans are tinking too much.. and always tink that they are right..
sometimes.. things jus cant be judge from what it seems..
i contact her.. doesnt mean i wanna woo her rite? fren fren onli..

humans are oso getting more n more selfish..
onli care for themselves. nv care for other feelings..
tell u, people out there wad i am tinking now..
im so tired of gals.. hey.. this doesnt mean im bcoming gay.
now i see gals.. i feel like plain paper.. plain water.. no feeling no taste..
cus im sick of tired of guessing wad gals are tinking..
they can turn out to be monster... i cant find angels among them nowadays..
except for my gd lill fren from IT.. haa..

now humans are thinking way too much i can tell u,,
cant stand it.. misunderstand this and that..
making a problem from bad to worst..
Just open ur eyes n ur ear holes wide to see the situation.

get over it .. and stay PEACE..

IM GONNA FUCK IT!!!!

reali fUnny ... aND i fINd iT stupid n DUmb.. Haa







come on ! this is the 21st century
there is still such thing as i dun reali like my gf to be liddat?
Oh maN... wad a reply from a GUy.. Woooo

this is worst. reason of avoiding
check this out
"tell u honestly, i jus got a bf"
come on man.. do i care.. haha..
find it weird
be fren onli wad..
nid to be lidis meh? lol
laugh out loud la..

stupid pple stupid action stupid way.
i don care... one short doesnt kill..

jus to let u know.. this is reali stupid..

arrgh.......






the same old shit again.. fuck

why cant i spend my life smoothly.
this is realy fcuk up
i dun wanna spend my life like that

i have no money
i have no love
i have no choices
i have no body to talk to

all i have is myself
and ofcus
my buddies

u r the one since long
how can i confess
there is nth i can do..
all i can do is to spending time wif u w/o u know im falling for u.

i jus cant have wad i want.. why?? is this my fate
what have i done wrong? m i reali the bad?
all i want is happiness..
cant i jus get that? it is so simple..

once i fall into it..
the cycle starts again..
why jus cant man survive love?
perhaps some can .. but defintely not mi..
who is the one?? i seriously dunno

im tired of waiting
im tired of seeking
im tired of finding
im tired of searching
in fact. im gonna give up
it reali sux..

overall..

happiness... i want!!!

bother... bothered.. bothering....






there is sth kept wif mi for very long.. from primary 5 till now.... its jus something i cant shake it off.. for the decade... thou many things happen in between. but it jus cant shake it off.. arrgh..



the dumb dumb esther tan... duno how to make her comp still wanna act act ah..
pls la.. haha.. dun act k!! wahaha..
anw.. your bro eugene is funni n quite cute la.. cuter than u at least. haha.. so dun oways bully him can.. hhaha... thou ur hus is far.. but quite nice to slack ah.. relaxing man.. lol..
nxt week is ur tuition week hor.. RMB.. dun 4get. lol. N lvl coming.. wahaha.. mus get into O lvl ok.. i pls u now k? dun slp n slp la.. haha

there is this gal... LOL




you are in short hair.. n i said alrite.. thou i say u look better in long hair.. din mean to luff at u.. jus happen to be so funny... who ask you to run into my dream... n came out wif those stuns.. it aint totally my fault.. im not out to make fun of u... jus tat you r way to cute and funny.. all of ur stupids n dumbdunb running in my head. making mi reali feeling like one... Pls.. listen to mi.. and dun jus ask mi to shut up!! wahhaha..

you are not miss nice.. you are a blg bully.. no im not like u.. cus im mr good.. sing along wif mi.. yoyoyo!! come on.. one more time..

hope you can get what i mean.. im jus worry im way too cool.. now i know you are hot.. and as black as banglah.. no i dun blame you.. i blame the sun..

i neeed no slap from you.. i jus need a clap.. put ur hands up.. put ur hands up.. follow the rhythum n clap.. 1..2...3...4

looking forward to DXO.. mirage event is on the way.. dun walk mi out on saturday.. im scared of being alone.. wahahhaa..

im not lame.. im not shit.. u know wad? im jonathan..

open ur eyes wide n see.. this is all about u..

hate no school. hate no life.. everything will be fine..
dun be bored.. dun be shag..
thre is always mi to entertain.
be cool . be happy.. be ur esther tan..
i aint flirt i aint drunk
im strong and decent..
misses u? theres a chance..
pls dun be angry
or i will sad
dun b vain .. get normal
ru hua is jus a joke..
not for serious
u r too cute to be tht
screw those nags u hate
n move on
ite aint that bad.. its jus sucks
so go for sch n mug
dun scold mi bcus of this..
cus i use a blog of mine...
all this for you to see..
apprecaite and smile wif it..
everybody in pasir ris.
put your hands up..X 2
give a cheer for esther tan h.t
woOOO!!!
haha

hey hey hey...





yawnXxXxXx.... i so tired sia.. monday.. tuesday nv have enuff slp. haha.. so tring leh... alamak... hmms.. cus of a siao siao gal la.. haha... cus of her.. i slpt in AM in the morning.. a few hrs ltr wake up for sch.. arrgh.. haha..

stress siol!! haa.. cant imagine i chat wif her for so long la.. endless tings to tok abt ?? i dunno.. times flies lor.. when 1am.. i say i 2am slp... den ltr overshot.. haha.. i den say 3... haha.. in the end.. overshot again.. haha..

i wan my lollipop.. this gal owe mi ah.. whahaha

still the same old thing la!!!!



woke up halfway of my slp again.. wah piang.. sian ssssss... i wanna zzZZzzzZZ!!! arrgh. im phsycially tired, but mental.. nt tired.. seems to be working.. haha..cant stop my brain down.. it is way too pwerful haha.. nth to to.. no hp to sms.. arrgh.. now onli can blog. n listen to radio n dl songs..

wanna let my mind settle down . haha.. dun tink of anything n let mi slp!!!!

monday sch reopen... im so sian abt it.. no more fun at nite..no more late slp.. if not.. cfm = skip school.. lol

feeling weird...



feeling abit.. hmms... strange.. haa.. like something is amiss? or perhaps like sth is missing.. ahaha.. cant kip myself entertain leh.. jus feel bored n sth is short..

i went to gym as usual like 3 time a week? tink sch reopen i cant go that often .. mayb 2 times? i will ccfm go to gym to main my body.. haha.. if not.. all my effort will go dwn to drain.. lol... progress is gradualli revealing itself..

now.. again.. my hp is being fucking stolen AGAIN.. i very very piss alrdy .. wanna sms pple oso cannot.. how sia? cant live w/o hp leh.. haha.. i wanna sms.!!!

some gals said this: " we gals wanna lose wieght n wanna be slim n nice.. but why u guys like to gain weight n look bulky???" haha... contridicting ah..
some gals dun like guys to be too bulky... some gals like their bf to b muscular.. n den some dun like? how leh? headache.. confusing .. puzzling?
last time my ex say i too skinny.. but u like mi as the way im wad.. kip asking mi to gain weight.. so wad now i hv gain weight? still the same wad.. like/love mi for the way im... haha.. oh man.. i still cant get my blog out of the relationship topic.. haha..

anw.. i slowly changing. haha.. wait n see ba.. weee!!!

oh sad.. i miss the attica trip 2dae.. =(

cant seems to get a nap / slp




e-m-olicious post is rite on the way...

cant get a fucking nice slp recently.. dunno wad my mind is tinking man.. the blood vessels seems to be like cocking up wif some stuff..

wads up wif mi man... oMg!! depression is falling upon mi .. someone save mi!!!
let mi post wads in my mind ....



*---*----*----* ---*---*---*---*---*---*

i wouldnt say i love u forever... cus i believe nth can last forever.. everlasting love is jus craps n bullshit that all guys say to get the girls love or heart n wad so eva.
happy moments are oways short-lived.. everything within our sight that is wonderful mus be cherish. so i can tell u that i would nt say ; dear i love u forever... i will say: dear i will love u for every sec from now ''. . i dun believe in everlasting love as every livings die one day.. even paper can bio-degrade.. so wads the point in believing in that? no point seeking for something that dont exist. even a married loving couple's love cant last forever.. one of them will die eventually of old age living the other one behind.. jus treasure wadeva u hv got. the loves one and etc... try to make them feel their the happiest pple on earth.. if the couples can be tgt aft death, congrats!! den they can pursue their everlasting love.. onli aft death, things will everlast.

no more tearing for a gurl wch leave mi behind... wasting of energy n water resource... come on man.. SIngaopre dun even hv enuff water.. so dun waste.. lol
its is not worthwhile aft all as she did bad to u.. wads the use of crying like someone die? come on! even u cried on someones wake, the dead oso wun come alive, somemore this is a walking human... kus fcuk it n get on life.. i believe there is jus one mr n mrs rite for everyone living one earth.. like adam n eve, romeo n juliet...


romance aint practical, romance is out of track.. romance is dangerous. romance is facinating, romance is sth pple cant jus simply use words n define, romance is sth we feel and cant be seen by naked eye, valentines day is a day to let the romantic cells in our body out? nonono.. if we r happy tgt, everyday is a valentines day.. romance will jus come n filled the air around us.. there is no definite ans for romance.. we cant find an ans to it to.. diff pple ... or shud i say, diff lady got difff expectation of romance.. guys r oways the one cracking their mind thinkin wad romantic stuff to do for thier gf n even for the person the like.. why is this so? cant gurl do it for a guy? come on la.. this is 21st century.. open society for all.. wahaha..

*promises from guys are nt oways true. it usually depends. but promises are nt meant to be broken. some might say it for the sake of saying.. some might mean it. ya .. so jugde!! dun be mesmerised by sweet talks.. in the end.. blame it on the guys. lol..

im bothered by all this kinda shit.. someone pull mi out of this love n relationship stuff.. pls!!!

i find quite unqiue of this " take some chill pill" .. understand wad it means? lol.. some dumdumb, stingray gal intro mi this chill pill thing. haha.. quite funny la..

fun nite .. fun day.. woooo!



cannt imagine i had a total a fun nite at twn 2dae... is not like normal fun.. is extremely fun.. and i actuali msg someone for 4hrs plus plus plus.. haha.. ytd nite was reali fun to mi.. but may sound bored to others... i went to slack n drink at CHIPS... the beer there was fucking cheap on tuesday.. so we rank non stop.. til im high.. weird ah.. drink beer i will get high easily.. while alcohol nt that fast... but nvm la. nt high nt fun ma.. whahah.. the chicken wings there is also damn nice.. mus go there and grab a bite nxt time.. aft the drinks .. we went walking round n round orchard.. searching for a corner to slack.. and we found one.. coffee bean.. the time was about 1am plus.. we sat dwn chat.. den sth sturck our mind.. we went to took some snapple n run to ZAra n slack. haha.. aft finishing the drink. hoho.. we played rolling bottles... haah. see whos can roll dwn the stairs w/o breaking n the furthest.. but in the end.. we end up throwing the bottles la.. damn it.. haha.

soon aft this. we felt abit hungry . den we went back to coffee bean . this time round,, we spotted the frigde there isnt lock.. whahaa... god is wif us.. lol.. so we open it up.. there is good stuff inside.. tuna, ham, chicken.. lol.. we even brought bread from 7-11 to go wif that.. lol.. free food oways taste so nice.. who says that dwn into the nite there is nth to do at twn.. ITS SO NICE TO LEPAK (slack) haha.. we ate and chat happily.. lol.. too bad thre is no ice cream in the frigde.. if not it will be a wonderful meal.. lol.. till 4 plus.. that damn fat security came.. n we ran like some mad dogs jus ecaspe from the cage.. we run to 4 season hotel to hide.. lol.. panting heavily.. but it was damn happenin can...thr security gave us some entertainment ya.. lol.. aft a while ... we slowly walk back.. den saw tht guard again.. damn it la.. nid to run.. while running , im still msging that person la.. haha.. nearly knock onto a tree sia.. but nv.. phew.. exciting nite i hv..

actuali this blog of mine is emo one la.. most of the blogs are e-m-o.. this is few of the happy blogs.. lol
this post actuali wanan post some emo stuff.. but 2dae happenings make mi 4gt wd to post.. nvm.. i shud recall n post it some other day..

this gal, or lill gal,, big gal.. arrgh.. dunno la.. i jus manage to locate her jus .aft last seen at dxo was reali nice to chat la.. seldom mit this kinda.. nice to chat not = to talkative.. jus find that can click? haha.... she shud be honoured k.. lol..

E-m-o post nxt..

almost a week....



i dunno wad am i busy wif for the past one week.. haha.. nv update my blog.. recently hv been drinking at nite.. holiday now .. so bored... no part time job .. no money .. no life.. struggling to survive this time.. i hv almost rot at home everyday last weeek... till the fashion show of mooks at mos.. it was fun.. get to know some pple.

where is my dear dear fren? missing in canada? haha... i was waiting for her reply evryday ... but.. nth came into my inbox.... i missing u badly .. QUICK!! come back to singapore...

how happy how sad....




how i wish u know how i felt abt u? i happy that ur returing... im sad that i dunno wad im tinking.. im reali looking 4ward to any outing wif u ... tinking of that im reali excited.. haha.. nv seen u for dunno how long alrdy...

anw, finally my body had shown some improvement. wahaha.. i hv gained 2kg.. now my weight is 58kg.. lol... 2more kg to go man... den reach 60 my ldeal weight.. the best can add some more weight la.. den can train till fit fit.. hotu im fit now.. but not the right size i wan... lol./

reali truly... indeed

i wan to become heavier n bigger in size.. thou for the past one yr.. i hv put on weight and my muscles did grow bigger.. n i did gain abit of weight.. but thats all not enuff leh.. i wan more !! haha.. bigger n heavier.. now my weight is abt 57.5kg. my ideal weight is 60 and above sia.. when can i reach that target leh.. lol.. thou results are slowly revaeling.. im gonna gym gym gym.. train train train..

who will be my motivation? lol .. very quite some time i hv been tinking abt this gal.. how can i confess it to her? will she find ridiculous? i hardly see her leh.. she is wad i wan.. she is wad i need.. but .. how can i let her know.. reali a headache leh,, i still got one last paper on thursday. hope i can make it lor.. lol.. im trying to get close to her.. but it seems hard man.. no chance was given to mi .. she oways so busy.. perhap.. im no one close to her yet.. thats y.. i msg her oso nv reply most of the time.. but its okie la.. at least still got reply.. at least i know wads going on wif her n wads she is tinking.. luckily there is such thing AS BLOG.. can go read wad she update.. haha.. tats where i can get to know her tinking n stuff. lol.. it does hlp mi alill.. at least i msg her,, n show her my concern.. nv reply nvm,... at least she will know i care abt her lo..